Above You
by TheTinyestOne
Summary: "You want her, and I'll never be her. I hate this, I can't put anyone above you, but she will always be above me," You can't have three people in a marriage, Gaara reflected watching as she re-hased the same old argument. Every time he did something right with Hinata, it swung back to her, and she was right, she would never be her and he could tell it was slowly killing her.
1. Chapter 1

Above You

TheTinyestOne

Welcome to the re-write of two families, you will notice the original is still up, mainly because I got to writing the longer length I found a completely different story which had its roots buried in the original. You may notice Hinata is a wee bit OC, there is a reason for that but I have tried to keep flickers of her in there. Her general personality cropped up when I was listening to the song Yellow Flicker Beat by Lorde, give it a listen.  
Enjoy!

* * *

It started with a wedding. In the way that things often do, this wedding was to seal a treaty between the leaf and the sand. It also meant that the Kazekage was finally listening to his councillors advice and getting married.  
"Naruto, I don't think I can do this," The groom stated running a hand through his dark red hair, sending the spikes spluttering. Idly, he wondered if he should start combing it into a side part, a more mature look mayhap? The idea was quashed by the panic gripping him over the wedding, _his wedding._ His friend, and fellow kage, just clapped him on the shoulder looking unconcerned at his current panicked state, remaining unhelpfully and unusably silent. While Gaara knew he would still be looking calm and collected to anyone who didn't know him well, those who did would be able to see his panic. Naruto was unfortunately one of those who knew him well. The only one now, outside of his siblings who knew him that well.

"Relax man, Hinata is easy to please, she knows its political just be kind. You'll be fine," Unsurprisingly these words did not comfort Gaara in the least. Sensing this Naruto added

"Hinatas great!"

"hmmm," was all Gaara could manage to add, not finding his friends word at all comforting. Being nice was not his strong point, as Temari consistently pointed out to him, something about his resting face being scary or intimidating or something. At best Gaara could manage a civil interaction with a slightly scary leadership vibe. It was incredibly effective but probably not what a women would be looking for in a marriage.  
"Tell me more about her again," he requested, despite the fact he had already read the files he had on her till they were committed to his memory, he watched Naruto scratch his head, before he answered.

"Hinata is… different, she used to be super shy. Stuttered, fainting the lot. Then it just kind of stopped one day. I heard that she lit a fire under her clan when they tried to stop her entering the jounin exam, then threaten to turn into a missing Nin if they didn't let her take up Kurenai's role,"  
"As an information retrieval specialist?" he inquired remembering this from her file. Naruto nodded,

"I nearly fainted the first time I saw her after that, she was amazing, if you had asked anyone two years before if they could imagine a confident Hinata they would have said no, and laughed." That was the Nara, leaning on the door frame, "She volunteered for this, you should know that. Make sure you treat her well, Kazekage-sama, they're ready for you now"  
Gaara nodded, but Hinata had already left his thoughts, he was thinking of another strong confident kunoichi, and he desperately tried to squash those thoughts. It would do him no good to think about Matsuri today. It was time.

* * *

Hinata, meanwhile had to keep reminding herself to breathe, she didn't feel like the strong confident kunoichi that had suggested this agreement between Konoha and Suna right now. In fact she felt as though she was the stuttering mess she had left behind with her adolescence. Trying to calm herself, she took a deep breathe to the count of eight, exhaling to the count of four, she did that five times imagining the breath going through to her toes, her fingertips every inch of her body. It was her normal go to quick calm down meditation routine. It had never failed her, until now, to her horror it didn't seem to matter how times she tried it. She kept shaking like the leaf her village was named for.

"Hinata," Shinji interrupted, "we are ready for you,"

She held up her hand, to ask for just a moment. Closing her eyes and leaning her hands against a pole, at the very least she could make her breathing steady, she couldn't, she wouldn't faint, that would be horrifying on a whole different scale.  
 _I am a kunoichi, I am a jounin, I am Hinata of Konoha, of the Hyuuga I can do this,  
_ "Alright, I-I-I am r-r-r-ready," _Kami,_ She was stuttering, another deep breath and she began the slow ceremonial steps through the huge doors and down the aisles of people all craning to see her in her wedding finery. She had suggested this match, volunteered for it, she reminded herself taking another slow step. If she didn't do this Neji couldn't take her place as head of the clan, this had to happen, She repeated this mantra again and again, as she approached the figure in his impressive kage robes, at least he's handsome, she reflected, and my age, and he's not a relative, these are all great things. She took one last calming breath before placing her small hand into his. He was there right in front of her, teal eyes boring into her own lavender ones, she felt her hands tremble slightly.  
Here we go.

* * *

At the wedding feast Hinata inspected her new husband from under her eye lashes. Desperately trying to ignore the old tic her hands seemed to be doing on their own, pressing her forefingers together. Neji would be furious if he could see her, it was one of thing he had spent a year helping her break the habit of, Hinata assumed it was the anxiety about today setting off all these old tics, the stuttering, the shaking the fingers, she tried her mediation breathing once more and to her upmost relief found that this time at least it seemed to have worked to stop the forefinger press. Thankfully the wedding, having been set in the late afternoon, only had a small supper to follow the long ceremony, and Suna's traditions stated the bride and groom were at separate tables, giving Hinata time to suss out her husband in a semi natural environment, as he sat surrounded by Naruto, Shikamaru and his brother. It was certainly different from Konoha's wedding traditions but Hinata couldn't help being grateful for it. She had no idea how to interact with a man who she didn't know, who was suddenly her husband. She watched as he picked at his plate listening to Naruto, who Hinata could see gesturing as he enthusiastically told a story that seemed to involved a lot of flying objects. Her husband seemed amused but it was hard to tell, he didn't smile, but he seemed lighter some how. He was certainly a handsome cut of a man, she could tell even with his robes that he had decent muscle structure despite the fact he'd spent ten years behind a kage desk. He was a head and a half taller than her, which was always something she admired in a man. Turning to face her new sister she tried to make conversation about something easy and simple, the possibility of her joining Suna's elite jounin now she was a citizen.

* * *

Gaara took a deep breath as he walked into his now shared bedroom trying to summon his courage and simultaneously banish Matsuri from his thoughts. To his horror he opened his door to his new wife sitting at the end of their bed. Dark blue hair pulled away from her face in a long plait, dressed in what looked like only a short silk robe in a lavender color that matched her eyes and clashed terribly with his dark red bed spread. Long legs tucked off to one side, she seemed confident, but she was steadfastly avoiding eye contact with him, her hands placed on her knees, and back straight, clearly waiting, for him he thought with a small twinge of horror. He wasn't sure he could do this. Without a word to her he walked past her and into his- well, theirs now he supposed- dressing room. He was glad to note she had removed the make up she had been wearing, he didn't need any of that rubbish on his bed. Once in his dressing room, he shed his robes taking a moment to hang them up where he normally wouldn't have. Already there was several changes in there, Hinatas ceremonial robes were hanging up, along with what he could only assume was the rest of her wardrobe, indeed he could spot a Konoha ANBU uniform hanging in there. A dressing table with a mirror and a chair had been added as well, with small bottles of frippery on it, a photo of a team which he supposed was her genin team. She certainly looked much more like the girl he vaguely recalled from the chunnin exams in that photo. He took a deep breath and stripped down, pulled on his black pyjama bottoms, not bothering with a shirt or robe. Opening the door back to his bedroom he found, that for the first time in his memory, his courage had failed him and he just climbed into bed, the opposite side from where Hinata sat perched, and turned off the light. Leaving her sitting in her pretty lavender robe at the end of the bed in the dark.

Silently Hinata fumed, wondering if he knew how rude he was or if he was just generally clueless. When he had come out from their dressing room she had had just a small electric shock of frisson shoot through her, his jaw line set, the scarred chest with its muscles, it all made for a rather compelling figure of a man. She had offered a hand, which he had ignored it, he had just stalked past her and gotten into bed, turning off the light with a small trail of sand from the gourd placed by the door. Leaving her sitting at the end of their bed in the dark, hand out like a fool, fuming she activated her byakugan, not knowing the room well enough to negotiate in the dark. Of all the scenarios she had imagined for tonight, each as embarrassing as the one before it, this had not occurred to her as an option. She was completely mortified, as she slipped her robe off, placing on the back of a lounge chair next to the bedside table, leaving her vulnerable in a camisole, and knickers, before climbing between the brown sheets and deactivating her byakugan. She had noted, while she waited for Gaara that brown and red took up a lot of the decorating in the sand. It made her long for the white walls of her clan, or the fresh green of Konoha.  
The tension in the room was so thick, Hinata could have cut it easily with a blunt kunai. It was suffocating, she knew they needed to consummate the marriage before it was considered legally binding, if they didn't they left themselves open to annulment. A risk she couldn't leave not in good conscience. She knew as Kazekage that he should understand this, but she supposed that understanding and acting on that understanding were two different things all together. Gathering her courage, this was incredibly important after all, she reached out for him, hand trembling.  
The effect was instant, he flinched away from her hand, so straight away she pulled it back to her chest and rolled over, mortified and anxious. She muttered a small _stuttered_ apology, one he didn't deserve she noted bitterly. With a blush staining her face, she pulled her hands to lace her fingers together, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep with his rejection fresh on mind.

Gaara knew he wasn't being fair to her. It wasn't her fault that he was wishing she was someone else. All he could think of was the feel of the all to brief kiss he and Matsuri had shared just before the war. He found himself missing her in the strangest ways, longing for moments they'd never had. They had never slept together like this, he wondered what she would have felt like in his arms, sleeping next to her, teasing her over breakfast the way the Nara and his sister did on the rare occasions that he spied them together. He wondered what they could have been if it was her next to him instead of this elegant leaf ninja. Furious with himself, he pushed Matsuri and her smile, her kiss out of his mind. He had a job to do.  
Slowly feeling completely out of his depth, he reached out to touch Hinata gently on the shoulder, he could feel her trembling and desperately hoped he hadn't made her cry. He could feel the soft skin of her shoulder with an odd deep circular scar under the callous of his fingers, and she rolled back over, so she was facing him. He adjusted his hand so he could gently touch her cheek, finding it dry, much to his intense relief. He leaned forward, using his hand as a guide as he propped himself up on his elbows, lowering down to find her lips with his own, he heard her quiet gasp as their lips met for the second time that day. A current of desire swamped him as she responded with only a moments hesitation, desire shaking him to the core, he deepened the kiss, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled back for a moment before kissing her again. Then he did something so completely idiotic he was surprised his new wife didn't knocked him out. He moaned a name into her lips.  
It was not hers.

"Matsuri,"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

There were jokes over breakfast as he entered the dining room, about the sleepless night he had no doubt had. They weren't wrong, it had been a sleepless night, but probably not in the way they meant. He had lay awake listening as his wife silently cried until she had excused herself at about three am, and he woken her up on the sofa just before he left for the dining room. She still had the salt marks on her face and he strongly suspected she had cried herself to sleep, guilt pinching him. Gaara hoped that when Hinata came in the salt tracks were gone and that her poker face was on, as his brother good naturedly ribbed him about his wedding night. The Nara and Temari ignored both of them clearly in their own world as Gaara helped himself to a plate and sat at his seat at the head of the table, Matsuri's empty chair on his right hand side, and began to brood on the disaster that was his first night of married life. He poured himself a coffee remembering the way Matsuri used to add more cream than coffee so if he stole a swig of her drink he could barely taste the caffeine. He used to tell to her drink tea if she didn't like the taste of coffee rather than waste a perfectly good blend. He closed his eyes trying to remember her face as she talked to him about her plans for the day during breakfast. But all he could remember was the reports he was always reading over during breakfast, he took a swig of his coffee bitter and angry at himself for wasting time he hadn't realized was so precious. He watched as Hinata walked in, the signs of their sleepless night hidden. She had her long dark hair up in a high knot on the top of her head, a long pair of dark loose work out pants on, and a loose fitting white shirt. She must be headed to the gym after breakfast, he knew she was hoping to join their elite jounin now she was a citizen so she'd be wanting to keep in shape for the test they'd no doubt insist she took. She went to pull out the chair next to him, _her chair_ ,

"Not there," He told her short tempered, Hinata dropped her hand, and turned on her heel disappearing out the door of the dining room. _Fuck_ he swore silently, he was useless at this. His siblings stared at him, Temari looked like she was about to scream at him.  
"What?" He growled,

"You are an idiot," Temari stated unabashed by his tone. " Every one told you, you just have to be nice to the girl. But no, Gaara has to be an asshole,"  
Gaara was confident he was suppose to ignore this, so he just took another swing of his coffee draining his mug, before stalking out of the dining room and into his office to start his day. He worked steadily until a quiet knock sounded on his door at midday,

"Enter," It was Hinata carrying a bento box, which he assumed was his lunch,

"T-temari said you don't n-normally eat lunch, so I made you a bento box so you can just eat when you a-are hungry," She said quietly, handing it to him,

"Thank you," Shocked he peeled the lid off, to find a delicious smelling lunch, he looked up to express this to her, only to find she had already gone. From this he summarize that she was still mad from their mornings interactions or perhaps the night before. He grabbed a rice ball from the bento and began to eat it as he read over the reports from the academy.

It was incredibly good.

* * *

Hinata was sparring with Temari using her new sister as a vent for her frustration as well as getting a very good work out since Temari worked best from a distance, and she normally worked best in close range situations. Sweating profusely as they finished, Hinata took a seat next to Temari accepting the blondes offer a bottle of water.

"What was this morning about?" She asked bluntly, Temari, didn't meet her eyes as she fiddled with the lid of her bottle. "Temari, I need to know I am his wife, if he has a lover just tell me. I won't get mad at him, in fact it would make a lot more sense,"  
Temari chuckled, very drily,  
"Shes not a lover, that seat was his students, Matsuri's-" Hinata dropped her bottle and the glass shattered at her feet. She could feel the color draining from her face, feeling much the same as she had the night before when he had to called her by that name in the middle of a kiss. It had been an amazing kiss, stealing her breathe away, leaving her wanting more, until the bottom had dropped out of it in one simple word.

"Matsuri, was his student? where is she now?" She asked, hoping her voice was neutral as she picked up the bigger pieces of glass from the floor. Her hands were shaking, and she found herself hoping the other women was far, far away from here, like in Kumo, or maybe even further.

"She's dead," Said Temari bluntly, standing to go get a dust pan and brush for Hinata. "She died in the fourth shinobi war, Gaara was pretty broken up about it. But I wouldn't worry there wasn't anything mutual here," Hinata felt like laughing she suspected there had been more than Temari knew there, sweeping the broken glass into the dustbin, she turned to Temari,

"I'm s-sorry to hear t-that, I won't t-try t-to sit there a-again," Temari looked at her sus pious, and Hinata knew it was because of the stutter, she had gotten to know Temari fairly well over the negotiations towards this treaty. Temari knew she didn't stutter. At least not anymore, Shikamaru had probably told her enough about Hinata that Temari would know she had stuttered badly in the past.

"What aren't you telling me?" The older girl asked as they walked down the hall towards Hinata and Gaara's rooms, Hinata rubbed her neck uneasily wondering if it would be a betrayal of trust to tell Temari, slowly she pushed open the door to the living quarters and indicated Temari should follow her. She sat on one of the red living chairs set up in there. Temari choosing a spot on the sofa.

"W-what I am about to s-say, needs to be in c-complete confidence," She said seriously, Temari nodded, and Hinata took a moment to do her calming exercises to see if she get the damnable stutter under control once more,

"Gaara called me Matsuri last night. This is going to sound completely paranoid, but I just get this awful feeling he resents me for not being her,"

* * *

The door to his office slammed open, in walked his sister, looking furious, and like she had just had a very good work out. She was covered in sweat and glaring at him, Kankuro who was reading a book by Jiraiya on the sofa sat up, obviously intrigued as to why Temari was in such a mood.  
"You called her by someone elses name. You haven't even apologized for it. You colossal idiot,"  
"You what?!" Added Kankuro, sounding utterly horrified by this new information. So much for Hinata's poker face. Gaara sighed, putting aside the report he had been reading before his sister had barged into his office, and leaning back in his chair.

"I am not taking advice in this matter from a women who thinks a skirt that short is appropriate ninja wear," This surprised a chuckle out of Kankuro at least, but Temari wasn't in the mood to be diverted.

"Gaara, she has moved entire countries to marry you and you call her by _your students name_. Then you yell at her for trying to sit in a seat at breakfast. She probably is trying to work out how call this whole thing off as we speak! Thank goodness you have done your duty so she can't" Gaara buried his head in his hands, trying to ignore his sister away. At least Hinata hadn't told her the whole truth. The fact that he hadn't done his duty by her meant she could very easily break the contract if she so desired.

"Gaara apologize, explain do something."  
Seeing that he wasn't going to answer her at all she turned to stalk out of the room, but she turned back as she reached the door,

"The skirt, by the way, it's this short on _purpose,"_ The guilt that had settled in his stomach pricked him uncomfortably, he knew Temari was right, but he couldn't deal with this right now anyway. He should have done it straight away instead of ignoring it. Now he simply didn't have the time to dedicate to it.  
An emergency meant Gaara didn't get to bed until dawn, he could fit maybe an hour in before he had to get up for work anyway, finding the bed already empty, he stared for a moment, it was made already but the robe hanging on the chair told him Hinata had slept in it and made it again for him. Deciding he could survive without sleep he went to find Hinata. With the dining room empty at this hour, he tried the training room. Sure enough, there she was, he paused in the door way, he knew on paper he knew Hinata had been ANBU. But this, was a whole other level. He had only seen a handful of Kunoichi do this, all leaf ninja strangely. Hinata had stripped off to a mesh shirt he knew was standard issue in Konoha and gloves on protecting those soft hands he had so admired. She was wearing the same loose black training pants she had the day before, but it was what she was doing that was impressive. In the training room there was a long heavy rope suspended from the ceiling, and Hinata was climbing it using just her arms, legs spread in a perfect splits not helping her climb the rope at all. She climbed steadily as well, no mean feat. He had thought she had been joking in there earlier meetings about trying for the Suna Jounin elite. Now he could see that that was truly the level she was clearly at. Sweat was pouring off her but she didn't let it distract her from the task at hand. He watched as she reached the top, and then began her descent at the same pace. Long bits of her hair escaping from the bun she had trapped them in. She jumped off the rope at the bottom and straight away began to stretch so her muscles wouldn't cramp too badly, at this Gaara cleared his throat. She didn't jump or even flinch, she had known he was here the whole time he realized. Trying to ignore the tension that was riddling the air, and the sound of his own heart roaring in his ears, he handed her a towel so she could wipe off and indicated that she should follow him back to their quarters. He ignored the small scowl that was now gracing her face. Instead he decided to offer an olive branch before he apologized.

"Is climbing like that a requirement for Konoha Jounin? I've only ever seen Konoha ninja do it," Hinata shook her head, mid way through a drink from the water bottle she carried,

"N-no it's not, You would h-have s-seen only K-k-kunoichi doing it correct?" He nodded, holding the door for her, She thanked him, and disappeared into their bathroom, leaving him waiting, five minutes later she emerged, still drying her hair but already dressed in a summery dress, that showed off her long legs in a rather attractive manner.

"W-we all had the s-s-same tutor in the academy, s-she had been an a-a-a-amazing jounin until a-about e-e-e-eighteen months before we s-s-started the a-a-academy. I don't know the details b-b-but I k-know that she had b-both her legs shattered by a war hammer during a m-m-misson. She h-h-had to climb a rock face to get to safety with her l-l-legs like that. At b-b-break we all s-s-wore if we got to h-her l-l-level we'd be able to do it too,"

In spite of himself Gaara was incredibly impressed, a promise made at six and an action in your twenties were two completely different things. It was especially impressive when you consider she hadn't been the most exemplary kunoichi when he'd first seen her fight. It was also the longest he had heard her talk, then after a long stretch of silence, he choked out

"I'm sorry about-"  
"It's fine," She replied shortly, not meeting his eyes again, he shook his head, and looked at her.

"Matsuri, she was, my student. My first student, you understand the relationship that grows between the first student and their sensei I am sure." She nodded, but her face was sceptical. He guessed that she was speculating to the nature of Matsuri and his relationship "She was a jounin just before the war, hadn't been my student for years. But Matsuri. She was the person I was closest too, even closer than Temari and Kankuro. Then just before that first battle she kissed me and I promised we'd talk, properly, when it was all done. But by the end she was dead and we'd never discussed anything," As he finished, he broke eye contact with her, ashamed, that his voice was shaking, ashamed that the ghost of his student was between them in spite of the fact her death had been years before.

He felt her hesitate as she got up, he wondered if she was going to leave again, but he felt her take his face so that he was looking into her eyes. Her touch was gentle but the look she was giving him was not. It was steely and he realized with a jolt that Hinata was angry with him.

"I am very sorry for your loss," to his surprise that at least sounded sincere, but then she added in a far more serious voice "But let me make this very clear, completely translucent in fact. I will never be her, and until you let go of her ghost we will never be married in true and that puts us both at risk."  
She hadn't stuttered once, Gaara noted, she still held his face so he strongly suspected she wasn't done telling him off yet. He remember the words from their wedding about her telling her clan off and threatening to go missing nin, the stutter evidently disappeared when she was truly furious.

"There is only room for two people in a marriage. I am your wife, not her. Not the ghost of her, you can like it or you can lump it,"  
With that she let go of his face, and stalked out of the room the door slamming behind her. Gaara rubbed his chin anxiously,

"I'm not trying to be an asshole," He shouted after her, knowing she'd be able to hear him. He was also well aware that trying to be an asshole or not, he was definitely being one.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Hinata knew that her anger was mainly driven by her pride, which was hurt by the fact that he preferred the ghost of his student to his pretty wife. She also knew that pride or not she had to make this marriage work, a treaty was balancing on it. So she turned and went back into their living quarters trying desperately to quash her fury at him, knowing it wasn't any more fair on him than it was on her. He looked up from his hands and the fire she felt when he kissed her stirred again. It wasn't fair that he was sitting there looking so attractive when she was trying to apologize. She took a deep breath,

"When I was young I was scared of my own shadow, hence the stutter, my temper eventually broke through it just before I became a jounin. Now I am refusing to be scared of a ghost between us. So Let's start over. I am Sabaku Hinata formerly Hyuuga Hinata of Konoha, I was known as the purple mist. I like gardening, and am fond of hiking," She watched as he ticked this new development over, hesitating ever slightly before telling her.

"I am Sabaku Gaara, I am the Kazekage of the Sand, I like cacti and my village," For the first time she reached Suna, Hinata smiled at him.

* * *

Over the next few months a tentative truce had sprung up between the couple as they carefully tried to get to know each other. They started to spar together, or go for walks, even sharing lunch every now and then in his office. Hinata had started going on missions for Suna, much to the councils disapproval, they were worried she could be pregnant with an heir. They'd point blanked refused to acknowledge her as an elite jounin till Temari had pointed out that Hinata was in fact listed in the bingo book and that as such an elite jounin rank was a given. It's not like she was asking to join Suna's ANBU after all, that was off limits. She was far too visible as his wife as it was.  
Despite the fact she had been keeping busy with missions Hinata somehow managed to make his lunch everyday when in the village. A fact that quite impressed him, but made him feel more guilty as he was quietly and steadfastly still avoiding her in one important way.  
Despite all the sparring, walks and lunches, they didn't touch, they didn't hold hands, they just walked side by side. Completely neutral.  
She had tried to on several occasions but he always managed to avoid the hand seeking his, he was sure she probably blamed the ghost of Matsuri for this. But in truth it was in fact something far more simple. He wasn't entirely sure of himself and little bits of affection like she was offering made him quite uncomfortable because he wasn't sure how to respond. A part of him wanted to ask Temari but in truth he was too embarrassed to even seriously consider it. He was drawn away from his thoughts to a knock on the door. The person knocking didn't bother to wait for him to answer. It was Kankuro.

"What do you want?" He asked harshly.

"Hinata is late checking in. I thought you might want to know," He felt the bottom roar out of his stomach, indeed he did want to know.

"What was she suppose to be doing?" He asked, hardly recognizing his own voice, his hands gripped the edge of the desk, he was trying to think back to her mission records, but Kankuro normally manned the desk for him so he found out next to nothing about who got what unless it was very important. So he only knew that she had been on them. Kankuro avoided answering by handing him a scroll. He scanned it, A ranked mission to hunt down a missing nin from Kumo who had been seen on the borders of the sand, expected time was a week. Given that he hadn't had a Hinata made lunch for about ten days, he guessed Kankuro had given her a wee bit of time in case it took longer than expected.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He demanded, shoving the scroll back to him, "Summon Matsu-"

Realizing what he was about to say he paused, shook his head, trying rid her from his thoughts once more. "Get Temari to watch the desk, I'm going after her myself,"

"Gaara-,"

"She is my wife, Kankuro, I am going after her. Don't let anyone else know she's gone, put out that we're honeymooning or some nonsense" With one easy movement he stripped his robes leaving his normal uniform underneath. Then he was gone, and Kankuro was left in the oval office with just a few wisps of sand.

"Damn it Gaara! That's not what I was going to say! Temari's in the leaf…I guess I'm Kage now damn it all"

* * *

Gaara's first stop was the place the missing nin had last been seen, no sign of a fight, so he headed to the nearest border patrol, where she would have headed from there. Sure enough, they'd seen her, and pointed their Kage in the same direction. On the third day he found her. She was less than impressed with him.

"what are you doing here?" She demanded, looking thoroughly angry with him. He noted how tired she looked, her hair was a mess, she evidently hadn't stopped to rest at all until now. He had stumbled on her making camp as the night began to fall.

"Your late," He said simply, "You were supposed to be back six days ago, so I came to find you, I couldn't let anyone else know you were missing," He scanned her quickly looking for injuries, and found none.

"what delayed you?" He demanded, reaching out to grasp her shoulders. She shrugged his hands off,

"He was harder to find than I would have expected. Then he was also a much harder fight too, actually since you're here can you make yourself useful," To his horror she removed her shirt and pointed him to her pack nearby on the ground. As he watched her strip off the grey amour she kept under her uniform, he could see a hole in it near her hip bones. What on earth had she been hit with that cracked her armour, then she shed the black mesh undershirt so she was down to just a bra. A blush rose on his cheeks Kazekage or not,.

"In the front pocket on the left is sterilized kunai, and a disinfectant, get them out," He obeyed,

"Why?" Gaara asked cautiously, before handing it to her. She turned again, and he saw why, she had a deep cut on her hip, where he had spotted the hole in her armour, the outsides of the cut were tinged green, _infected_ he thought instantly _and worst its partially healed_.

"Why didn't you heal that!" He blew up, She turned so she could glare at him,

"I didn't have enough charka, hence the slow trip home, I've had enough to for my byakugan which is by far more important in a situation like this where I'm not familiar with the area," She took the kunai out of her hand tipped more disinfectant on it, then to his horror, she opened the wound again. He was not normally squeamish but watching a grown women stab herself on purpose is a whole different matter. She took a small cloth from her pocket, and carefully poured more disinfectant on it, placing the kunai in her mouth so she wouldn't scream she carefully cleaned out the bleeding cut. She spat the kunai out,

"Can you please hand me the needle and thread it should be in the same pocket," He nodded, finding a small packet of sewing supplies and handed her an already threaded needle. He winced as she began to sew the cut up rather than waste her charka.

"You couldn't pop into a base and let us know? Or you know, get that healed" He asked, still fuming at her being so irreasponable.

"I did," She informed him tartly, "About four days ago, I sent a bird. This bases medical ninja had been killed by the same missing nin I was hunting and hadn't been replaced yet," Gaara must have just missed it then he realized. He felt a bit sheepish about the whole situation, how ever he still knew he acted the way he needed too at the time, Hinata as his wife was a target in the way Temari and Kankuro were when they attended missions. She tied off the thread, and reached in her own pack for a roll of bandage, which she handed to him. She knelt in front of him with her back towards him.

"Could you please wrap it, it must go around three or four times," Carefully he wrapped it, brushing his hands gently around her firm hips, ignoring the small thrill of frisson he felt each time he touched her. As he tied it off for her, he inspected her for anymore cuts, she had a few on her back, but other than that all her scars looked old. He gently touched the deep circle scar he had seen, it dipped an inch of so below the rest of her skin. She smiled bitterly over her shoulder at him.

"When Pein invaded Konoha, I took a hit meant for Naruto, it went straight through me and critically injured me, I very nearly died," She said shortly, "Sakura and all the medical ninja's on hand had to fight to save me,"

That explained why it was so deep he guessed. He brushed his hands over it again, keeping them gentle. He was imagining the same hole at the front, when he felt Hinata lean back, her long torso pressing against him. He tensed up, one hand still on her back, using his sand to press her back he realized she was asleep. _She must have charka exhaustion_ he thought, after all she been setting up camp for the night when he had found her. Well, that he could help with, with the aid of his sand to escape without waking her he picked up his wife, and tucked her into her bedroll. Then he found a scroll summoned a bird and sent a quick message to say he'd met up with her and they'd be home in three to four days. Quietly he brought her clothes in and folded them at the end of her sleeping mat, He then set up noise makers so he'd know if there was anyone near him, before he tucked himself next to his wife with a book. She was sick after all she needed watching.

Hinata awoke with no memory of how she got into her tent, she activated her byakugan only to find she still had no charka, but by then she had also realized the presence next her was Gaara not an enemy nin.

"how long?" She asked, voice croaky with sleep. Gaara looked up from his book that he was reading by the light of a lamp. He looked vaguely amused by her, offering a hand to help her into a sitting position. She winced the fresh stitches hurting as she adjusted.

"A few hours," He answered shortly, "I sent a bird home to say where we were and that we'd be home in three to four days, but that may be a bit longer. It's probably not the elders meant when they said take a holiday but I guess it will do," Hinata winced again as she reached for her shirt. Holiday indeed.

Shirt on, She gingerly sat and accepted the rations Gaara handed her,

"we can make it back in three if you have any soldier pills, I used my last ones before I ran into you," He shook his head, "Those aren't candy Hinata, we can take our time," He told her severely. Hinata rolled her eyes at him, not caring if he saw or not. She reached her arms up, to let her long hair down for the time in a week, ignoring the stabbing pain as her wound protested. Before she could even find the hair tie in her hair, Gaara had his own hands up, letting it down for her.

"you can't tell me that didn't hurt, " he remarked voice very dry. "You can ask for help you know?"

"I do not need to be babied," She grumbled as she handed him her hair brush, "be gentle or I'll pull your hair,"

Behind her Gaara grinned and obediently began to run the brush through her hair. It was first time he had seen it down, she nearly always had it up whether it was in a plait or a bun. He hadn't realized it was so long, it went right down her back and landed on his lap.

"Start at the bottom," She advised, "with long hair you sort the bottom first," He obeyed, thinking that this was oddly domestic of him. Hinata meanwhile was busy fighting off hormones.

The thing with being married to a very attractive man who showed absolutely no interest in her was that she spent ninety percent of their time together wishing she could touch him. As far as she was concerned the deepest secret no one told you about sex and marriage was that women were just as interested in things like desire and sex as men. She sat there burning as he brushed her hair, until he handed her brush back, she went to put her hair back into a plait or ponytail, when she heard Gaara quietly request that she leave it down. That was the first time he had asked anything like that of her, a huge step forward, so she left it down, and turned to face him.

"thank you for brushing it," She commented. Gaara nodded, his eyes on her hair still, he reached up and smoothed it with a hand, Hinata leaned into his hand, enjoying the intimacy a smile gracing her features. Baby steps, she thought, he just needs tim-

His lips were on hers, and his hands were pulling her into his lap, deepening the kiss, fire was roaring through her veins. Where had this come from?! He pulled back for a minute and Hinata was having none of that and closed the gap between them once more. Wrapping her legs around his waist her arms winding tight around his neck. He pulled back again to start kissing her neck, and the moan she'd been supressing escaped, as he found the sensitive spot by her collarbone. Her body was trembling and he nibbled the flesh by her neck, before stopping suddenly as though a switch had flicked off as suddenly as it had flicked on.

He was as breathless as she was, and looked torn. Hinata solved this quite nicely, by removing her shirt, He gently reached out and touched the scar from the front, before she leaned forward and slowly lay a trail of kisses daintily on his neck, He shuddered lust filling each part of his being

"I didn't mean for that to happen," he commented, as she continued kissing his neck. She paused uncertain if he wanted her to continue, his hands caressing her long hair, eyes filled with want. She found herself uncertain now, unsure whether or not he was thinking of her, or of Matsuri.

"D-d-do you w-want me to s-stop?" She asked nervous of the answer that was coming.

"Not particularly," Gaara answered eyes dark with want, "But your injured and I don't want to slow the healing process,"

Relief washed over her, at least it wasn't _her_ standing between them this time.

"W-w-we, um, d-d-don't have to stop entirely," She said, avoiding his eyes, feeling a blush rise. He grinned, at her, and closed the gap between them once more. Laying kisses down her neck as she made short work of his jacket with her nimble hands and started in on pulling his shirt off. She ran her hands down his muscles, incredibly happy to at last be touching them, after two months of marriage. Feeling the scars under her hands, as Gaara lowered her onto the sleeping mat, being careful with her hip. He slid the straps of her bra down, and fumbled with the clasp, before Hinata reached up and undid it in one smooth move.  
Gaara with a skill he didn't know he possessed took her breasts in his hands and felt their delicate soft flesh. Hinata moaned his name stretching it out in a way he hadn't known was possible, her hands trying to work out his fly, whilst he did his damnedest to distract her from it. If she touched him there, only one of two things could happen, he was either going to come in two seconds flat or he was going end up taking her, regardless of any injury. Hellbent on distracting her, he took a nipple in his mouth, the way he'd read about in the magazines Kankuro had helpfully supplied him with. Hinata responded instantly, he felt her thighs clench around his waist, her small supple body grinding against his length her fingers now tangled in his hair. She was moaning in his ear, and he was pretty sure that was the best sound in the world, as he tweaked her other nipple gently. She ground against him again seemingly completely unable to concentrate on anything else but her basic instincts. Then something a huge shudder ran through him as he climaxed.

 _Fuck_. _That was not how that was suppose to go,_ he thought embarrassed.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: You may notice this chapter is a lot shorter than the last few. I normally aim for about 2k words per chapter. But simply put this was an awful one to write. It also had a logical stopping point, regardless you will have a fifth chapter by tomorrow, so deal with it! Xo

* * *

Chapter Four

The tension in the camp the next day was palatable with awkwardness, after his early finish Gaara had rather killed the mood in the way that that kind of thing was apt to do. Hinata had gone back to sleep, but had left her hair out as he had quietly requested earlier in the night. He was feeling too shy to actually do anything about his desire to touch it. Making out with Hinata was the most human contact he had ever had with another human. Even with Matsuri the most contact he had managed was holding her in his arms after she injured herself training. That was the first time he had ever held anyone, he could still feel her soft brown hair brushing against the hollows of his neck, and the way her head had relaxed on his shoulder. He thought about how soft and helpless she had felt in that moment. Even injured he didn't feel the same protectiveness for Hinata, he couldn't never disassociate her from the strong ninja she was she had been ANBU, she had an entry in the bingo book that listed her as S class, and was easily one of the strongest ninja in his village now with a spotless mission record.

In spite of this he had never thought of Matsuri in a romantic way until that kiss. Only after she had died did he find himself unable to consider her in any other way. He closed his eyes and lay down on the cold ground, he gazed at his wife, her steady breathing calm, but he didn't see Hinata at all. Instead he could almost see Matsuri there, lying next to him as she had done countless times on various missions before he had taken up the mantle of Kazekage. He could see Matsuri in his minds eyes where Hinata was now curled up under her bedroll, Matsuri's quiet snores echoing through the tent as they had always done. A wave of longing, a different sort of longing than the one he had felt towards Hinata earlier, resonated through him, and he sighed bitter. "Why did you have to go?"

Resentment swamped Hinata the next morning, her wound had been too painful to sleep after her exertions with her husband. So instead she had meditated to try get her charka reserves back to her normal levels. She could only assume Gaara had thought she was asleep, because while he was an asshole at times, he was not a clueless idiot. Just as she had finally begun to feel as though they had left the memory of _that women_ behind them with Gaara even managing an amazing make out sessions without saying another womens name. The memory of Matsuri turned back up again. Now she had the awful feeling that he had been imagining Matsuri in her place as he kissed her. Her pragmatic side was being rather reasonable about the whole thing, whispering that at least he was making an effort towards making their union official. Unfortunately her pride was a lot louder, and it was furious about the emotional affair her husband was having with a dead women. She felt she could have been far more understanding if Matsuri hadn't been dead for years. Even if Matsuri had been a physical, living lover she would have found that easier to understand than this. But being turned away for a dead women was a whole new definition of annoying. A ghost was taking precedence over her in their marriage.

 _I can get through this,_ She resolved, her hands busy packing up the tent _I can make this work._

Putting the tent in her pack she nodded to Gaara and together that set off. Hinata couldn't help but wonder what was going through Gaaras head as they walked. The things between them that were unsaid was creating a deafening silence.

* * *

To say the whole trip home was awkward was a terrible understatement, Hinata couldn't stop thinking about Matsuri and her husband. Gaara meanwhile, was replaying his embarrassing moment over and over sure that his wife was resenting him for finishing so quickly. They were both relieved when they parted ways, Gaara to tackle the paperwork he was sure had piled up, Hinata to report on her mission and visit the med bay.

It took a month for the tension to finally come to a head. During which the couple steadfastly avoided each other. Gaara took to avoiding the couples room until he knew Hinata would be asleep. If he went there at all, most the time he napped in his office. He never needed as much sleep as others after all, may as well use it to his advantage in avoiding his wife. Hinata avoided the family breakfast and took the longest missions she could get her hands on. If anyone noticed the couple avoiding each other they didn't mention it, Hianta had a few conversations on the topic with the sand siblings but they just made her resentment worse so she began to avoid them too. A month of simmering in her own anger and resentment, then one night she had quite enough. Lying in the couples bed awake still at three am, she threw the covers off. Hinata pulled her robe over her camisole before strolling down the halls to her husbands office furiously. She hadn't spoken to him at all in a month, and he had been avoiding her just as steadfastly as she had been avoiding him. In Hinata's mind that confirmed that the breach between them had been caused by his own guilt with Matsuri.

She knocked gently on the door to his office, knowing that he wouldn't need a loud knock to hear her. She knew he was there, there was a bright shine of light peering out from under the door. A yes answered her knock, so she opened the door, closing it behind her she said simply

"I think we should talk," Gaara raised his eyes from the paperwork he had been working on and indicated with his hands that she should take a seat in front of his desk.

"We need to talk about Matsuri," She said bluntly, no point beating around the bush, Gaara looked up at her furious.

"No," He said putting his pen down, "I've said all I want to on that subject, now go back to bed if that's all you had to say," Hinata refused to be diverted, meeting his steely gaze with her own, she took a deep breath and to her horror felt tears rising in her eyes, she angrily wiped them away, before she said

"I know you don't realize this, but I am crazy about you. I wish I wasn't, I have no idea why, but I am utterly crazy about you. But you, you are so caught up in her, that you won't even give me a chance," To her utter shame she felt more tears escape, she took a moment to wipe them again before continuing "You are so caught up in your loss that your putting our marriage, the treaty, the alliance at risk by not doing your duty by me," Taking another shaky breath, she continued

"I truly wish I could hate you, you know. Gosh, I wish I could be indifferent to you Gaara, that I could bring myself to not care. But I can't, and you, _you don't give a damn about me._ You still want her, even though she is dead. You are putting a corpse above me, a memory of a women who was, above me. I don't stand chance against this women who is perfect because it's just your memory of her. She is only perfect because when someone is dead you forget their flaws,t he things that annoyed you," More tears, and another shaky breath, Hinata mortified to be seen crying over this, and still furious she continued unabated while Gaara sat there blown away.

"I can't even dream of putting someone above you, because that would be forsaking my vows, and treason. But Matsuri will always be above me," Gaara looked at her, face showing no reaction to her words, to her tears, and with that he had just found her last nerve. So she pulled her trump card, She walked around his desk and opened the top draw, ignoring his furious requests to stop. She pulled out a photograph and a forehead protector. It was right where Kankuro had said it was, though Kankuro hadn't known she had heard him discussing the situation with Temari, but she had. She placed them in front of him, lavender eyes cold with fury, teal ones stared back at her showing no sign of regret that she knew he kept a photo of Matsuri and none of her.

"Burn this bridge now. You act as though she is the only girl you have ever seen. I have said this before, but I swear to you Gaara, if I have to say it again _you will never see me again. I will disappear if I have too. But I will be gone_. I am not her. I will never be her. Furthermore, _I do not want to be her_ " With that she turned and stalked out his office. Leaving Gaara shell shocked behind her, she closed the door to the office and only made it a few minutes before she had to stop and have a hysteric cry.

She had no idea he could hear her through the walls.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four

As a child Gaara had overheard an argument between a couple where the women had shouted at her husband that you couldn't have three people in a marriage. He now understood had true that was, despite his confusion as to where his wifes' anger had come from. Especially since he had been avoiding her since his embarrassing accident. He was certain he hadn't done anything involving Matsuri around her, at least while she was awake, since their wedding night. But despite this, to appease her he took the picture and Matsuri's blood stained forehead protector down to the storage area by the training room. He couldn't bring himself to throw it out which is what he suspected Hinata would have wanted him to do. As he was leaving the storage area Hinata was entering the training area, dressed for training. She hadn't seen him yet, so he reached out and brushed the hip where a newly pink scar had formed with his hand, she turned managing to flash him a weak smile. Which he thought was impressive after the crying he had heard the night before.

"Please remember the merchant guilds ball this evening," He reminded her, "Be ready to leave the compound at six," She nodded, a soft look in her eyes, his hand hadn't moved from her hip, and she was standing close enough to him to feel his breath on her face. He leaned forward gently and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, before disappearing in a gust of sand. Leaving Hinata trying to get her mind back on her work out.

* * *

Just before six o'clock, Gaara heard a small knock on his office door. Before he could tell the person to enter the door was already opening. As he looked up, he found himself breathless for moment. His wife looked breath taking her long hair down, styled in perfectly formed ringlets, a small circlet on her head. She had make up on, something he hadn't since their wedding. He could see a set of amethysts in her ears, that matched the delicately worked gold necklace as well as the big jewel in her circlet. Her delicate frame was emphasised by the tight cut of her lavender gown, which flared out roughly where her knees would be. Simply put she looked amazing, and Gaara found himself finding it hard to believe that he was married to her. He dropped his pen, still staring at her.

She smoothed down her skirts rather self consciously, but he noted she looked amused by his reaction.

"Are you ready?" He nodded, coming from his desk to offer her his arm.

"You look beautiful" he commented, kissing her cheek, watching a blush rise where his lips had touched her. He heard her mutter a thank you, as he led her down the stairs.

Gaara couldn't help but feel an intense amount of pride as he led his wife into the Merchant hall. It was packed. There was a ripple through the crowd as everyone bowed to the Kazekage and his wife. Hinata smiled and inclined her head elegantly at that crowd, Gaara was reminded that she had left a place as the heir to Konoha's biggest clan to be his wife, so of course she knew how to act in this situation in the same way she knew how to act in the battlefield. She really had been a good pick for him. He smiled down at her, wrapping an arm around her waist he led her towards the head of the merchant guild to do the polite introductions that were required. Introductions took well over an hour of small talk among all the big wigs in the Merchant guild, and of course, their wives. Gaara had to admire that Hinata never once let on that she bored, though she surely had to be. Instead continuing to have an animated conversation with each and every person who wanted to talk to her. He looked at her with fresh eyes, admiring her in a whole new way, this was an aspect of marriage he hadn't considered that his wife may be able to help him navigate his way through the politics of his village, an asset even. He carefully excused himself from conversation with the head of the gem cutter guild, and went to her side,

"Please excuse me ladies, may I steal my wife for a dance?" The women surrounding his wife looked completely charmed as they let him lead his wife onto the dance floor. Hinata placed her hand in his, and her other hand on his shoulder, as Gaara pulled her closer so their bodies were pressed together. The two of them blocking out the rest of the world as slowly danced completely out of step with the slow tune that was playing. Hinata rested her head on his shoulder thankful that her heels meant she could reach it. She swore that she could hear the wives sigh as they watched their leader, whisper in her ear.

"You are doing amazing, you must be bored out of your skull," He heard her breathy chuckle,

"Not at all, I have attended much more boring events before today, Elder Hijori's birthday had eight hours of poetry and I had to act interested in every moment of it. This is _genuinely_ interesting I have never met anyone that are in the trades these women's husbands are in. I have a lot to learn," He gave her hip a squeeze, trying to express the admiration that he was feeling in that moment.

He pulled back her head a bit and kissed her gently on the lips, ignoring her squeak of surprize,

"You are brilliant," He said cheerfully ignoring the cheeky person wolf whistling at the edge of the dance floor. He spun her out using a gentle motion on her hip, in time with a push on her hand. Then pulled her back in as she giggled happy.

By the end of the night he had to admit he hadn't done nearly enough socializing with the merchant guild preferring to spend time on the dance floor with his wife. He tried to apologize on his way out, as Hinata exchanged a recipe with the wife of a local bakery owner who wanted to know if she had any Konoha treats people might enjoy. Hinata was telling her the recipe for her croissants. Gaara who had tasted his wife croissants couldn't help but approve of this. They were delicious, his people should enjoy them. How ever none of the merchant guild leaders would accept his apologies explaining that they too had been newly married once and then he had to suffer through various tales and lewd jokes before he could escape with Hinata back to the Kazekage compound.

* * *

That night he decided he would leave his work unfinished and go to bed at the same time as his wife. Gaara followed her into the dressing room, he lifted the heavy hair so he could help undo the clasp of her necklace. It was fiddly so it did take him longer than he would like to admit.

"How did you get this on without help?" He asked as he finally handed her the necklace which she put in the empty space in her jewelry draw. Leaving it open so she would be able to put her earnings and circlet away before she locked it.

"I have a maid for occasions like this, I brought her with me from Konoha," That made more sense, He thought, pulling the zip at the back of dress down, it seemed to go on forever, till just past her tailbone. Then he offered her a hand to help her step out of dress. She stood in just her bra, a skin colored strapless number, and his eyes bulged out of her head, no panties, as she zipped the dress back up and popped into a garment bag hanging on the back of their dressing room door. She grinned at his bug eyed expression

"No panties, means no panty line. My dress was very tight," She explained, then she pulled on her pajama bottoms. Before sitting down at her dressing table, smiling at his shocked expression, to take her earrings out. Popping them next to the necklace she looked up at him with her reflection.

"My circlet is pinned in my hair, could you help me with the pins please, it seems pointless to call Rin in now that I'm nearly done. Rin's my maid by the way," She pointed to the spots where the pins were. Sure enough, he gently found them and pulled them out before lifting the circlet off her head. It was much heavier than he had expected. He watched as she placed it on it's stand and locked the draw, because popping the key in another draw that had a false bottom.

"You kept this on your head all night? Don't you have a kink in your neck?" Hinata grinned at him,

"Hn, my tutors growing up used to make me balance heavy books to ensure I could keep my posture straight while I wore things like this. Father used to dream of marrying me to the Daiymo so he wanted me to prepared for a crown," She remarked dryly. "I am much happier with you even with…," She trailed off wishing she hadn't said anything. Lifting a brush to brush out her hair, she felt Gaara's hand stop her.

"Leave it, I like your hair down," He said quietly, taking the brush from her hand and putting it down on the dresser. She smiled at shyly, standing up and taking his hat from his head, to hang on the hat stand, unused to the intimacy Gaara shrugged off his robes and handed them to her before quickly changing into his own pajamas. Taking her hand he led her into their room, waiting until she was in bed before he switched off their light. He didn't intend to sleep, thinking he would perhaps meditate instead. But Hinata squirrelled under his arm, settling herself on his chest, using her free arm to free her hair from under his arm so it wouldn't pull in her sleep. He loosely repositioned his arm so he rub the small of her back under the heavy tresses of her hair. He could feel her drifting off to sleep. So he wasn't at all surprised when he heard soft sleep snuffles coming from her, to his surprise for the first time in their marriage he was not thinking of Matsuri during the simple moment of intimacy. Instead he was just thinking of her his wife.

* * *

Hinata awoke the next morning to a loud snore, and a general feeling of warmth. She found she was still tucked up in her husbands arms, they had evidently adjusted in their sleep so she was the little spoon to his big spoon. She snuggled back in, before rolling over, to kiss his nose softly, however before she managed to do this his eyes were already open.

"Did I sleep?" He asked, sounding shocked. Hinata nodded,

"You were snoring," She admitted, sitting up in bed, with a cheerful smile, "loudly,"

"I'm sorry I had no idea I snored," Gaara admitted, dryly, Hinata leaned forward closing the gap between with a soft kiss,

"Good morning, we should do that more often,"

"The ball?"

"No, the sleeping next to each other," She admitted with a sweet shy smile, "That's the best sleep I've had in years,"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Gaara had kept his promised to his wife, he was in the bed next her every night at eleven o'clock or a few minutes past if he was running late. On the fifth month of this new arrangement he came in to find his bed empty. Confused, he wandered into their dressing room, her robe was missing so she had clearly come to bed. He hung up his hat on the hat rack and knocked on the bathroom door, no answer, the door gave gently when he knocked so Hinata clearly wasn't in there.

"Hinata?" He called out, starting to worry a wee bit.

"In here," He followed the voice through to their living area, and into her study, he had rarely seen her use it. Hinata was sitting at her small writing desk, she beamed at him as he came in. Smiling at her he perched on the window sill waiting for her to say what ever it was that her bouncing in her chair.

"Ask me why I'm so excited," She commanded him, obedient he replied, albeit feeling a wee bit childish. "Why are you so excited?"

"My cousin eloped with his girlfriend!" Hinata only had one cousin, and he was the reason she had married him. By marrying him, her cousin could take over the clan without Hinata having to marry said cousin. He racked his brain for the cousins name but he just kept getting Lee popping up loudly in his head

"He's Lee's team mate isn't he? Miji?" Hinata nodded, correcting him

"Neji, yes he is on a team with Lee," Hinata looked so pleased with this turn of events he could barely find it in him to point out the fairly huge problem he could see.

"Isn't Neji supposed to be taking over the clan?" Hinata contrary to the devastation he expected beamed at him.

"That's what is so brilliant, he and TenTen eloped the same day we were married. With Neji's leadership already in place before they told anyone, and the marriage," She blushed at this, "Consummated. So unless something were to happen between us, that is you and I, not Neji and I, they can't revoke his leadership," Gaara could still see a huge gaping hole in Hinata's present happiness. Hinata grinned at his hesitation and he had the eerie feeling she knew exactly what he was thinking as she approached him he rather nervously backed up, not sure what to make of his wife's odd mood. He only stopped backing up as his back hit the wall with a thump, and Hinata was in front of him, a hand on his chest, another around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. Relieved that despite her rather odd mood all she wanted was a kiss he leaned in intent on fulfilling his wife's wishes. Instead Hinata put her lips by his ear, and whispered "Shall we make it so they can't destroy this?"

Before he could answer, Hinatas teeth began to nibble on his ear, her hands making short work of his kage robe. Unable to concentrate on much else besides her teeth and wandering hands, he wrapped his hands around her pulling away from her teeth to find her mouth. Heat searing through him, he moaned her name as she nipped his lip. Hearing the moan, Hinata pulled back bright red, and led him to their room. Gaara had just barely waited for her to close the bedroom door before he scooped her up by her rather attractive backside and pinned her against the wall, making short work of her shirt which was one he recognized as not being hers at all. "Is that my shirt?" He asked in between the kissing, sucking, biting to her neck, He felt her nod as she moaned loudly. With that sorted his lips headed straight from her neck to her nipples, and the effect was instant. As he felt Hinata pulling his hair tight in her hands, mouth stuttering the syllables of his name. Deciding that the best place for this activity was the bed, he dropped her down, prompting a squeak of surprise from her. She can't have been too distracted by the change of location because within moments she had his fly undone, and was rolling his pants off with her toes.

"Are you fond of these pajamas?" He asked mildly, as she shook her head not concentrating on his voice instead finding all her focus on what his clever hands were doing with her breasts. Seeing her nod, he ripped them off in one fluid movement startling a laugh from her. Then he pulled back to look at her questioning, seeing this Hinata paused, suddenly hesitant,

"G-gaara, g-go slow," He nodded lowering down to capture her lips in a gentle kiss, then with his heart beating a furious taboo against his chest he entered her, trying to be gentle as he pushed through the resistance he could feel, desperate not to hurt her but wishing he could roughly thrust like he so desired too. Hinata buried herself in the crook of his neck, willing herself not too tense up, a small gasp of pain escaped and the resistance was gone. She felt incredibly tight and wet around him. Hinata bit down on his neck, and moaning he sped up, a hand on her breast another in her hair. As he sped up he could feel her body begin to tense up, she cried out his name, as her body taut and shuddering. With that he found himself unable to hold back, as his emptied himself in her. For a moment longer he sat deep within her, trying to catch his breath, then he felt her try to wriggle free under him.

"Are you okay?" What if he had hurt her? He wondered horrified with himself. Hinata was bright red but otherwise looked fine.

"I'm f-f-fine, but, um, y-y-you know I-I'm not on-" _Oh,_ He pulled her into his arms. Trying to pull the covers out from under them so he could cover them without getting up. They wriggled under the bed clothes awkwardly, the desert nights were cold.

"I know," he answered honestly, "But I figured if you were trying to avoid a child you would have said,"

"it's probably something we should discuss," Hinata pointed out, her fingertips pressed against each other.

"I am not…not adverse to the idea," He said, honestly, "You would have to stop working for the duration," He warned her, propping himself up on his elbow so he could eye her warily, knowing she wouldn't be happy with stopping her work. "Are you sure, Hinata?"

She smiled up at him, "I've already told you before, I am crazy about you. I'm in my twenties, married, head over heels in l-l-love with my husband. I am sure I can manage a year's leave _to give him an heir,_ " She whispered a mischievous smile on her face before she snuggled back into him trying to ignore the sticky mess between her legs.

Three months after the initial conversation Gaara found himself sitting completely nude on the sofa, with his wife having just finished a rather interesting session of marital bliss with her on the sofa. Hinata was curled up on his lap, a sad wreck, having taken the months monthly hard it had just finished a few days prior. She wasn't crying, he hadn't seen her cry since there last fight over Matsuri. She certainly never cried when her monthly arrived but somehow just sunk further into herself. The healers he secretly consulted hoping to alleviate her constant stress and sadness on the subject, assured him that sometimes these things just took time. Evidentially no one had told his wife that it was perfectly normal to take up to a year to get pregnant that first time.

"It will happen," He whispered into her hair, "I love you," It was the first time he had ever told her that, and he had rather hoped that the incredibly sappy moment would lead to some extra points in his favour. What he hadn't planned on was having the kiss that followed interrupted by loud panicked knocking on their door. He wrenched it open not bothering to pull any clothes on to hide his nakedness. Hinata, always more modest had wrapped herself in the sofa rug, she peered around him to see a chunnin message runner.

"Hiro?"

"Kazekage-Sama, the gates theres-" But Gaara was already turning to pull on his hastily discarded clothes, Hinata mimicking him as she pulled on her uniform. Within moments and without a word to Hiro the pair had disappeared in a gust of sand and a flash of lavender charka. Leaving the chunnin with a nosebleed in their wake.

At the gate, Gaara was furious, there was only a lone warrior who was obviously injured but still not a reason to drag their leader out of his warm bed. Especially since the warrior in question had no forehead protector and clearly wasn't their villages responsibility.

"You called us out of bed for a lone warrior?" He asked, fuming. As the chunnin in charge of the gate tried to hand him an eye glass.

"Kazekage-sama, please just look," Scowling he snatched the eyeglass from the chunnin and raised it to his eye, before dropping it in shock. Hinata caught it watching the color drain from her husbands face. So she lifted the eye glass to her eye, and felt her veins fill with ice, as she swayed, shaking herself and giving her self a firm pinch so she could get a grip on her emotions. She asked, in an incredibly shaky tone.

"Is that?" Gaara nodded not looking at her and, not trusting his voice, before he cleared his throat, and answered not recognising his own voice in the harsh hoarse tone that followed.

"Yes, that's Matsuri,"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

* * *

Matsuri hardly made it to the gate before she threw herself weakly into Gaara's arms. Her sensei looked different somehow, older more refined. But it had only been a few weeks it wasn't possible for someone to age that much, in a few weeks was it? On Gaara's right hand a woman tensed up as she fell into her sensei's arms, she was a tall slim woman with lavender eyes without a pupil. What was a Hyuuga doing here wearing a Suna forehead protector? She was an elegant looking woman in a dark pair of cotton pants, and a white kimono shirt, the lavender eyes met hers. Matsuri could feel nothing but anger coming off the woman. Even stranger still was the fact that Gaara immediately handed her off to a near by ANBU operative. Gaara then whispered something she couldn't hear to the operative before wrapping an arm around the Hyuuga's waist and taking off over the rooftops. Leaving her with strangers, wondering what was going on.

* * *

At home, Hinata took off her forehead protector with fingers that shook. Gaara watched wary his eyes guarded, She watched him in the mirror

"What did you say to Anbu-San?" She enquired quietly, putting her forehead protector next to her Konoha one that she kept on her dressing table, she absentmindedly traced her fingers over the leaf.

"I told them to take her to the hospital to do a full work up but not to leave her alone or let her talk to anyone," Gaara answered frankly, Hinata pursed her lips non comital but not looking happy. That was the straw that broke the camels back, and the tension he had been feeling since he saw Matsuri in the eye glass broke, furious, he snapped turning his wife around in her chair

"What would you have me do, Hinata? Execute her on sight? Banish her for kissing me once, before I had even met you," He growled, teal eyes filled with anger in way Hinata hadn't seen before. Hinata replied equally furious, shouting at him, Gaara jumped back in shock. Even the few times she had gotten mad at him she had _never_ shouted at him.

"I expect you to understand that you just brought a highly trained ninja into the _heart of the kazekage tower_. One is who has supposedly been dead for nearly a decade! Ex-student, ex-lover I don't care, what I care about is that you are letting your judgement be clouded and letting _her"_ that part she hissed. "blind your common sense!" Hinata got up preparing to stalk out of the room, only to feel his hand on her wrist, holding her in place. Turning back to face him, she saw he looked terrified,

"Please-" He began as she tried to wrench out of his grip, remembering her last threat involving Matsuri to leave him if he choose Matsuri over her again. "Don't go-"

"I am going to wake your siblings and your council to inform of this development. Which you should have done immediately. So put your damn hat on and start acting like the leader you are. We will meet you in meeting room one _Kazekage-sama,"_ With one easy movement she broke his grip and snatched up her forehead protector, slamming the door behind her. He looked at the dresser, and realized with shock that she had picked up her Konoha forehead protector, not her Suna one. Ice filling his veins he tucked the Suna protector still warm for its place on her head, in the inside pocket of his armor by his heart, before pulling on his robes and his hat.

* * *

To say his council was shocked was an understatement. The talks lasted well into the wee hours of the morning. With no conclusion reached. He went to stumble into bed, when he saw Hinata tapping her foot impatiently, deciding not to push his luck he instantly asked.

"What have I forgotten?" Hinata glared at him and something in the far corners of his mind clicked. He was an idiot, it was their wedding anniversary.

"I'm sorry, Hinata, it's been a very long night, _I am sorry_. What is on the schedule for today?" Hinata turned and walked into the dressing room, then into the shower, leaving him to look at his diary himself. Sparring at the academy, followed by lunch with instructors in honor of their anniversary. He bit back a groan, and followed his wife into their bathroom to splash water on his face hoping it would wake him up.

He didn't want to be here, walking with his wife to the hospital to see Matsuri but his councilors had accosted them outside of their residence and insisted. Citing that he knew Matsuri best. He felt his wife tense up at that. Hinata looked absolutely beautiful today, long hair down pulled back from her face by the circlet she was entitled to wear as his wife. She always wore one for formal events todays one had sapphires it had been a gift from Temari for their wedding anniversary. It matched his hat. The matching necklace and earrings had been from Shikamaru and her Konoha friends. She stalked ahead of him still angry at having to visit Matsuri. He couldn't complain too much as her walking in front of him gave him a rather nice view of her pretty white sun dress with the delicate blue embroidery. He knew her friends on the dress makers guild had made it for her to match his robes. It suited her very much, similar to the style of the lavender ball gown he had so admired, tight down to the middle of her hips then a slight flare, heels emphasizing her beautiful backside and long legs.

"You look beautiful today, Hinata," He said, catching her hand, Hinata didn't pull away her hand which he felt was a positive start. However, the fact that she ignored the compliment was not so promising. Baby steps he supposed, this was never going to be easy and being forced to see Matsuri on their wedding anniversary was just added fuel to the flames.

* * *

The healers had done a fantastic job healing her completely, but Matsuri suspected they were under instructions not to talk to her at all. She felt as though she was a prisoner in her own village, a village she had shed blood for no less. The ANBU operatives hadn't left her side either, and she could sense two more outside her door, another by the window. To say she was confused would be an understatement. Matsuri sensed Gaara's approach before she heard his steps on the hall. His steps were accompanied by the sound of heels on concrete floors. She scowled wondering if Gaara had brought his secretary with him to visit her. Gaara was dressed in his robes as always, but to Matsuri's shock he had the kunoichi from the night before next to him. Was she a kunoichi? she wasn't wearing a forehead protector that Matsuri could see, and she could see no weapons, but as a Hyuuga this woman wouldn't need them. She didn't look like she would amount to much in hand to hand combat, her long hair incredibly impractical, and she was dressed in a dress and heels for kami's sake. Matsuri realized with shock that the woman was dressed to match Gaara.

Who was this woman? She scanned her sensei again hoping for a sign, and saw a plain gold band on his left hand she hadn't noticed before. It was on his ring finger. Blown away, her eyes instantly snapped to the woman's. She had a matching one. Matsuri felt like crying she looked at the Hyuuga, the Hyuuga was glaring at Matsuri as though she could quite happily watch her get skinned alive without shedding a tear.

"Y-you're married?" She squawked. It had only been a few weeks since she had kissed him how could he be married? The atmosphere in the room turned deathly cold and Matsuri could feel Gaara's hesitation, evidently the woman did too because she answered not Gaara.

"Yes, _he is_ , a year now in fact," Matsuri refused to believe it from the Hyuuga, so she turned her face to look at her Sensei.

"Sensei?" Gaara nodded, looking at her coolly.

"Yes Matsuri, this is the Lady Hinata my wife," He was holding her hand, Gaara was holding someone's hand willingly. She could count the times on her hands that he had touched her outside of training.

"Do you have children?" If he or that women answered that they did Matsuri might double over and puke at their feet. She didn't notice the wince that went through both of them, too caught up in her own feelings of horror that her sensei was married and not to her. When she did glance at the Hyuuga she saw that she now resembled a marble carving, a marble carving of princess, so pale and still. Wait, did Gaara say that he had been married to the Hyuuga for a year? She had only been gone a few weeks. How could he have been married a year and Matsuri not know about it. The Hyuuga smiled coldly at her,

"Kazekage-sama, we have the anniversary events at the academy, we really must leave _your student,"_ The way the Hyuuga said student made Matsuri feel incredibly small and dirty. She dediced she must have imagined the Hyuuga wearing a forehead protector, she was clearly civilian through and through.

* * *

Of all the ways he thought he would spend his anniversary, at the academy getting the silent treatment from his wife was not one of them he thought grumpily. He had been daydreaming about a quiet day spent in bed worshipping her, lots of sex, cuddles, and maybe the occasional playful spar. Instead he was pretending to watch academy students fight while trying to work out what on earth he was going to do with Matsuri. Hinata had been right when she pointed out that his decision the night before was reckless. Matsuri would need to moved away from Kazekage tower urgently. They needed to figure out how she was alive, especially since Gaara had seen her die. He still had her forehead protector as proof that he hadn't imagined that. Where she had been all these years, there were too many questions surrounding her not enough answers. He needed her somewhere safe, but secure where he could keep her as far away from him and Hinata a possible until they had more answers. As they finished at the academy he led his wife back to Kazekage tower, in silence, knowing a blow out was going to happen and desperate to get her into the privacy of their residence before it happened. He was incredibly grateful she had managed to keep her public mask on, so that his people wouldn't know she was miserable on their wedding anniversary.

When they did get home he went to give her a gentle kiss, which she responded too but just barely, her kiss was cold and unfeeling, a duty not a passion, devoid of the emotion he craved from her.

Surprisingly that was enough to crack the armour she had built up. His wife started to cry, sobs racking her body, he reached out and tucked her into his arms, resting his head on hers. Astounded that she didn't fight him as he did this. Gaara stood there, feeling helpless, the whole situation was such a mess. He had no idea how to handle it, and his instincts as Hinata had pointed out, were all wrong.

"I'm so sorry about how I acted today," Hinata sobbed voice muffled by his robes "It's not fair on you. It's just…as soon as things are going right for us, she pops up again. She pops up from _beyond the grave_ , and she was your first choice, and I am scared,"

 _So that was the cusp of it, Hinata was jealous_ He thought, he really was an idiot. He showed have known, especially since she had told him her issues with Matsuri before. Suddenly he clicked as to what he could do with Matsuri.

"I am going to send Matsuri to Konoha, if anyone can work out where the hell she's been its Sakura and Ino." He kissed his wifes head "As for me, I still stay right here with you, where I belong, you are my wife, and you are my first choice every time,"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

* * *

Matsuri's next visitor was not the one she desperately craved, but one of his siblings, Temari. Matsuri was surprized to see she too looked wary as she surveyed her. Matsuri attempted to smile at her, but she suspected it fell flat.

"So, I am guessing it's been a little bit longer than the few weeks I think have passed. Gaara is married, to a civilian no less," Temari let out a snort, much to Matsuri's shock.

"Whomever told you _Lady_ Hinata was a civilian was taking you for a ride," She said frankly, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a bingo book. She flicked it opened to a page and showed her a photo. There stood the Hyuuga in a tight fitting black singlet which had been half ripped off, showing a six pack that was splattered with blood. Her hair which Matsuri had written off as horrible impractical was secured in a tight knot on the top of her head, her byakagun active she looked deadly. The look in her eyes aid it all, anyone who crossed her would die, even in a photograph she could see that. Temari gave her time to process this before adding,

" _Kazekage-Sama's_ wife is known as Konoha's Purple Mist, she is an S-Ranked Ninja, along with half her graduating class. She is absolutely deadly if you cross her, and if you are on her bad side you should consider yourself already dead. You are just lucky she is devoted to Gaara or you would already be dead. She really doesn't like you,"

Matsuri sat in shock, that ridiculous elegant women, with her stupid hair was an s-ranked ninja. How was that possible? She hadn't missed Temari referring to her brother as Kazekage-sama as well. Reminding her that she was no longer on first name terms or to be trusted at all. Matsuri was beginning to suspect she had been gone a lot longer than she thought.

"Anyway, I am not actually here to see you, Matsuri," The way Temari said her name was deeply sarcastic, "But you, Anbu-San," The Anbu guarding her doors and windows appeared suddenly, and Matsuri clenched her fists under her sheets. "You and I are to take Matsuri here to Konoha. Haruno and Yamancha will find out where she has been willing or not. You are lucky you had an unexpected friend on the Kazekage's council, the majority was of the opinion you should be handed straight to NABU interrogation. But _she_ was most vocal that it wasn't fair to you." Masturi could feel the color draining from her face. How could this have happened?

* * *

Hinata awoke that morning curled up in her husband's arm, right where she belonged. She nuzzled into the sparse hair on his chest hoping to wake him with the delicate kisses she was placing on his chest and neck, sure enough his eyes snapped open straight away.

"Hinata," He said huskily, as she continued to lay a trail of kisses down his firm stomach, along the v of his pelvis, until her head disappeared under the blankets, and he felt her mouth on his penis. Delicate kisses down his shaft, a clever tongue licking at him like a cat did with milk. Then she was sucking along before she started to move her head taking the tip of him in her mouth, sucking with a huge amount of power behind it, that him groaning and clutching at her head before he had even managed to wake up properly. He was moaning her name, and she felt him twitch and knowing he was close. She stopped, and peeked her head, bright red of course out of the blankets, expectantly. Sure enough, two powerful hands pulled her up and suddenly she was on her back and he was above her. A slow sexy smile on his face as he took her leg, brought it up to her shoulder, kissing down, further and further. Past her knees and down her thighs, his head getting closer and closer to a place only he had ever been. Hinata gasped as he found her, clever tongue licking her with soft flicks, teasing her, when he knew she was ready for him now.

"Gaara," She hissed out, He looked up sexy self-satisfied smile in place.

"Yes, Hinata?" She was doomed he was in a playful mood nothing was going to get done until he was ready to do it. Using his fingers to hold her open, his tongue explored every inch of her, leaving her writhing in their blankets, Hinata was gasping unable to hold a thought in her head as Gaara found her clitoris, and took it between his lips, sucking gently at first then hard, flicking it with tongue

"Don't you dare stop," Hinata told him wrapping her fingers in his hair, feeling the orgasm build in her very bones. Her hips began to buck but Gaara didn't stop, she could feel her body flooding Gaara as it convulsed, before she had even had time to wrap her head around it, Gaara had pulled away and was sliding into her.

Filling the longing her orgasm had created deep within her, he started to thrust hard and fast leaving Hinata breathless, she orgasmed again, walls tightening around Gaara as he too orgasmed, she hadn't expected to last long not after that. She grinned lazily under him as he caught his breath. He rolled off her, and Hinata shuffled away from the wet spot she had created, making a mental note to take the sheets down to the laundry herself and put them on. Embarrassed by the thought of the staff knowing how the Kazekage had started his day.

"We should start every day like that?" Gaara commented lazily stretching as he sat up. "I'm going to need a shower or I will smell like sex all day, actually so are you, I'll wash your back if you wash mine?" Hinata nodded, already heading to run the shower, as her husband laughed.

"No funny business I promise or I'll be late for my meetings this morning."

Feeling much cleaner, Hinata was stripping the bed, when she heard Gaara call out to her from the bathroom. Bundling the sheets into their washing basket, she walked into the dressing room to peer around the bathroom door. Gaara was shaving, in just a towel. Admiring the strong muscles of his back, she said "What was that? I was… erm… stripping our bed," He looked over for the mirror to see her face bright red. He sent another grin her way, evidently amused by her embarrassment.

"I actually have a job for you this morning if you don't have a mission," He said looking back to the mirror and continuing his shave.

"Yes? I don't have anything I think, Kankuro hasn't mentioned anything that suits me at least," She replied beginning to pull through her clothes to find a dress. She always wore dresses when she represented him, believing it was in her best interests to appear his weak demure wife. Settling on a cherry red sun dress her friend Rei had made her, she chucked Gaara his pants before pulling the bell for Rin.

"I need you to see Matsuri and the others at the gate. It looks far less of an urgent thing if I didn't see her off, I don't want to give her the impression we trust her enough to set out without being supervised by one of the family at all but I do not want it to be me. It would look right if we didn't see her off at all," Hinata tensed up at his word, as Rin knocked at the door before entering. She could see the merits in his suggestion however so she nodded, pulling on the dress, before sitting at her dresser to let Rin do her hair.

"Should I take my guards?" She asked over her shoulder as Gaara pulled on his shirt. She watched him pause ticking it over in his mind,

"Yes, better take your guards, if only for appearances sake," He answered finally. For a while they got ready in silence, Rin pulling Hinata's hair into a complicated twist which hid its length before pinning a small jewelled hair clip along the side of the twist. It matched her dress of course,

"It never ceases to amaze me how many jewels you have, Hinata," He remarked idly leaning down to kiss her, his hat in his hands. "Temari is taking Matsuri at ten, remember it's all about appearances,"

She nodded at him, "could you tell my guard I need them today?" He nodded, reaching out to touch her face before disappearing out the door. Hinata knew what he was trying to say without words, and called out to him "I love you I'll see you at lunch,"

* * *

Matsuri fidgeted, uncomfortable with her hands still bound, she was going to Konoha in a box carrier normally reserved for civilians taking a long trip. It all emphasised that she was a prisoner, though she knew that Gaara had put out that she was injured and going to Konoha for treatment. As if to emphasise that she wasn't a prisoner to his people the Hyuuga was there again, seeing her off with Temari and the ANBU unit. Dressed thoroughly impractically in a red dress that skims her knees and pair of delicate look red heels, with jewellery on for kami's sake, Matsuri once again wondered how this woman could be one of the mostly deadly ninja's Konoha had to offer. Matsuri watched as the Hyuuga embraced Temari handing her a large package which she heard her say was presents for friends and family in Konoha. It was all very frivolous and it occurred to Matsuri that this was how she planned it too look. Like it was just a casual trip to Konoha and not a prisoner transport. She watched the Hyuuga carefully, she did look like a waste of space but she could see the fluidity of her movement that indicated that she was in fact as strong as Temari said she was.

Temari certainly seemed fond of her as the Hyuuga teased her cheerfully about someone called Shikamaru evidently enjoying the dark blush staining Temari's cheeks. She watched as the Hyuuga reached up and patted her sister in laws cheek. She smiled blankly at Matsuri, the smile not reaching her eyes, and went to embrace her. Matsuri went stock still wondering if the Hyuuga was going to kill her, recalling Temari's words from two days earlier ' _if she wanted you dead you would already be dead,'_ , but nothing pierced her; Instead the Hyuuga, whispered in her ear

"If you try anything I will hunt you down myself, and I have never missed a target," Then she added in a voice intended to be overheard "We look forward to seeing you whole and well on your return, my husband sends you his best, sadly he is in a meeting today so cannot see you off, " She released Matsuri, who shocked at her sudden freedom, tumbled and Hyuuga's her reflections perfect caught her

"Careful, you wouldn't want to _hurt_ yourself,"  
With that the Hyuuga turned and Temari helped Matsuri into her traveling box as Matsuri stared wordlessly after the Hyuuga who surrounded by guards was headed back to the man both women loved. Jealous stabbing her heart.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

* * *

Four months into Matsuri's Konoha trip and Gaara hadn't heard anything but right now his thoughts were on his wife. He was watching his wife get ready for her day, his didn't start for another two hours but Hinata had an early morning mission she had to get underway for by 5am. At the moment, she was strapping weapons to her thighs when he saw her pause, freeze in fact. Then she dashed off to the bathroom, worried he jumped out of bed, and on the tiles he saw what made her jump. Blood.

Her monthly again. The color had already left her face, but she looked more resigned than anything, he reached out to touch her, but she leaned away. Instead grabbing her supplies and adding them to her pack as he backed out of the room. Deciding to start his day early trying to ignore the heart ache that he too felt.

* * *

February 

Quietly his wife shook her head at him, no baby again. Kankuro complained that Hinata was taking more and more dangerous missions. Kankuro was worried but Gaara figured this was in an attempt to take her mind off it. He instead chose to ignore the pricks of worry that pierced him.

* * *

March

A report came in about Matsuri they suspected she had been experimented on, more in depth work needed. Temari came home from Konoha, and the Nara was coming as ambassador for a year. _Fantastic_. No baby again, Hinata was avoiding him except for sex. Which she went at like it was a desperate duty. Desperate for his happy wife back he left her to fight her demons, confident he would make them worse.

* * *

April

Hinata was away for a month long mission to escort the daimyo. Gaara was missing her desperately but was glad she was occupied with something other than babies.

* * *

May

Gaara watched his wife beat a training dummy until the stuffing came out as she got yet another monthly. She was still not herself, and he missed her desperately.

* * *

June

Reports from Konoha came in, expect Sakura and her team with Matsuri in tow next month. Full details then, Sakura was pregnant with Naruto's first so he expected Gaara to take extra care of her. Gaara crumbled the paper in his fist wondering how he was going to tell his wife that Sakura was pregnant when she still wasn't.

* * *

July. 

Both he and Hinata were waiting at the gate for the Konoha delegation. Hinata looked like a pale shadow of herself, make up hid it somewhat. But Gaara knew under the foundation she was wearing that Hinata had deep bags of sleepless nights under her eyes. He was holding her hand, but she wasn't putting any effort into it. Rin had done an amazing job making her look at least half herself, Hinatas' beautiful hair delicately pinned around her head like a crown and wearing his anniversary gift of diamonds in her ears, and a choker of them around her neck. Gaara thought as he always had that she was the beautiful woman he had ever met. Guilt was pinching at him though, he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell Hinata that Sakura was pregnant, and Naruto said that she was six months along so she would definitely be showing. Trying to ignore the guilt he was feeling, he surveyed his wife. She was wearing a beautiful white skirt, and a modest v-neck blue shirt, matching him as always, in the hand not holding his she held an umbrella protecting her delicate skin from the hot summer sun. The Konoha delegation came into sight, and he heard Hinata gasp as she saw Sakura. He should have told her. What kind of idiot was he that he hadn't told her. Hinata's grip on his hand became almost painful, as she looked up at him a desperate longing deep in her eyes. Until now he had thought she wanted a baby just to give him the heir the council was desperately pressuring him for. Now he understood that she wanted a baby because she wanted a mix of them in a human form, the ultimate sign of love between them. He felt her grip loosen as Sakura got closer, and then the umbrella dropped as she fainted. He caught her, as he watched Sakura sprint the last mile to check out his wife. How was he going to explain to Sakura that coming near Hinata might make her worse?

* * *

In the end he didn't have too because Hinata didn't wake up at all through Sakura's exam. He simply carried Hinata back to their room while Sakura checked her out before going to rest. Hinata wasn't awake yet, but when she did awake he would be here. Reports on Matsuri could wait until then. He had made a promise to Hinata that she would come first and he intended to keep it. He could feel her stirring,

"What happened?" She asked voice filled with sleep,

"You fainted, Sakura says you are fine though-"He felt the shock as she remembered why she had fainted.

"Sakura's preg…" He could tell she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence instead adding "And I am not," He gently stroked her face, half expecting to see her cry. "I think we need to talk about this, Hinata," She nodded, to his surprize agreeing with him, He watched as she picked herself up and tucked herself into a small ball, knees at her chest, head resting on them.

"I know I haven't been myself lately, I've been half hoping something will go wrong on a mission..it's been horrible," Gaara felt the air leave the room, he had known she was not herself, but he had no idea it had been that bad. That she would want to die. Leave him forever, he couldn't hear this.

"I had no idea you were that bad," He said, but she held up a hand, indicating she didn't want to be interrupted again so Gaara fell silent. "I feel like I've lost all my joy, its just gone every time I wake up and see that awful blood all I can think is _oh kami, I've failed again,_ and more joy gets sucked out of the world again for me. I get my hopes up every month, thinking I am nauseous, my uterus aching, and every time I am disappointed. Gaara, I think it's killing me,"

It was killing him seeing her like this. She wasn't crying but she was shaking, he reached a hand out to her, and found he was shaking too.

"Oh Hinata, you should have told me. I cannot help if I don't know what is going on,"

"Gaara, I couldn't" She replied a desperate tone filling her voice "if the council find out.."

He knew exactly where she was going with this. The council had already start asking annoying questions on the subject which he had chosen to ignore replying that he and his wife weren't ready yet. He knew if this got out it would be him and his siblings against the council. A barren wife was no good to them. But she was good for him, which was by far the more important factor. He scowled, and pulled Hinata to him.

"The council can shove their opinions right up there crappy old.." the rest of his sentence was interrupted by a loud knock on the residences door. Temari called through it

"Gaara Konoha is ready for you now," He hesitated looking at Hinata but she was already up, wearing what he privately thought of as her public face back in place.

* * *

"Kazekage-sama, after a long few months of working with your student Matsuri we have worked out what happened with her." Sakura began, handing him a report, which he would read later, knowing Sakura would give him a good overview now. "Your student seems to have been rescued after the battle by a rouge nin from our village who worked closely with Orochimaru, somehow he has revived her. Matsuri remembers none of this it was locked away deep in her mind. Ino was lucky to find it. Suffice to say she has been through a horrible ordeal but the nin seems to have gotten bored and abandoned her after locking away her memories so she wouldn't reveal his location. A group of our ninja are dealing with _him_ as we speak. As far as we can tell Matsuri will be no threat to you or your forces. She is under the impression she was only gone a few weeks. Ino and I have worked with her catching her up. She definitely ready to take up her place as your guard once more if you choose to do so," Gaara didn't need to look at his wife to know she was the one who had filled the room with tension at those words. It was all too much for him today he could feel a headache brewing.

"Thank you Sakura, and Ino for all your hard work, I shall certainly put Matsuri back to work," He could feel Hinata's death glare, he didn't even have to look. He nodded to send the ninjas from Konoha away and waited for Hinata to explode.

Only she didn't. She just looked at him, not even looking furious, her stupid public mask on still.

"What should I do with her?" he asked, voice very dry "I do not trust her to be my personal guard anymore, if I required one, it would be _you_. Though no doubt I would get no work done. Shall I send her to a base?"

"No," Said Hinata distractedly, "No, you keep those you don't trust close. Make her my guard," Gaara dropped her coffee cup. Surely, he had misheard her.

"Your guard? You don't even like the ones you have now and you want _Matsuri?"_ Coffee was staining his reports from the broken mug but he couldn't bring himself to care.

" Yes, my guard, I am more than capable of taking care of her if she snaps and it will keep her in our reach so we can survey her. Sakura and Ino are good but you do know her best,"

"but you have never wanted a 24/7 guard Hinata, you always told me that they would slow you down," His wife avoided his eyes and he recalled what she had said earlier.

"Unless, are you planning on dropping off active duty for a while?" Hinata nodded sadly,

"I cannot trust myself anymore, I keep _hoping_ something goes wrong, so I don't have to face another month of nothing," Gaara recalled his brothers concerns about Hinata's state of mind from earlier in the year. He nodded, no more active duty. Matsuri guard. It was a plan.

Standing up, he kissed her gently. Wishing he could explain how horrifying the thought of not having her in his life was to him. Instead he simply said

"I love you, Hinata," and hoped it was enough to keep her with him.

* * *

August

He got home that night and nodded to Matsuri who was sitting on his sofa reading a magazine, evidently knowing that she wasn't actually needed. She looked incredibly resentful of the position but he ignored this.

"Where is my wife?" He asked roughly, Matsuri inclined her head towards the study before putting her magazine down and leaving for the night. Her job was over when Gaara came home. He knew Matsuri was incredibly bitter over her placement and that she blamed his wife, everyone else thought it was a great honor for her though. Hinata didn't seem to care, she ignored Matsuri in the same way she did an annoying fly that wouldn't go away. Opening the study door, he found all the windows broken, and his wife sobbing, _sobbing,_ her fists bloodied. His mind boggled and he was tempted to call Matsuri back and rage at her something had happened here that shouldn't have. Hinata didn't look at him as he scooped her sobbing form up. She had a letter tightly fisted in her hand. Gaara knew her correspondence well enough now to know it was from her cousin in law TenTen. Tucking his wife on the bed he took the letter from her grip wondering if it was why she was sobbing.

The first page just held normal family information, Hanabi was dating, nothing out of the usual. Then the second page, his heart stopped, and then started again thumping loudly in his ears.

 _Finally Hinata, I have exciting news, I'm pregnant! I know, I know, a big surprise huh? For us too, we weren't even trying, I was on the contraceptive jab they give all ANBU agents. We have no idea what happened but I am about four months along with twins! We'd like you and Gaara to be god parents_.

Gaara couldn't read anymore,

"Hinata did you break the windows?" He asked softly. She nodded, she had stopped crying now. They had been trying for a baby for two years, but Tenten and Neji hadn't even been trying. He felt like crying too.

Instead he curled himself around her wife and helped her mourn.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

* * *

When Gaara woke up that morning, he was alone. That made him feel rather uneasy especially since they had received word the month before that TenTen had given birth to twin girls. He couldn't sense Matsuri either which meant Hinata had probably been gone for a while, he swung his legs out of bed trying to remember if she had mentioned anything. He threw his charka out and found nothing, He could sense Matsuri in his office so forming the seals and not bothering to get dressed he went there hoping to find his wife. Matsuri was there, sitting on his windowsill staring out the window.

"Your wife is training with Temari," She remarked idly not looking at him when he entered.

"Why are you in here then?" He questioned, watching her warily, mentally preparing himself for the onslaught he suspected was coming. Matsuri turned and began to walk towards him. Gaara was beginning to wish he had a guard, if only as a witness to keep him from getting skinned alive by his wife. He also wished he had bothered to put his robes on, he was not comfortable being alone with her in only a singlet and long pants. He pulled back as Matsuri reached for him, not wanting to hurt her but also really not wanting to be here.

"I needed to talk to you," She said shortly, flopping into a chair when she saw him pull back, Gaara's mind was on how he could discretely call for a guard, so he just nodded. "I don't know what I have done to deserve this, serving your wife is a waste of my time. She doesn't need a guard, and she's not even going on missions now, she just sits all day, or goes to tea. I am jounin I want to work not baby sit your pregnant wife,"

She was evidently watching him very closely because her expression changed from disgust at the job to active delight when he twitched at the word pregnant. It had hardly been a big twitch just a little one but Gaara could hear the sand rattling and urged himself not to give this women the upper hand. But it was too late Matsuri pounced on that twitch.

"Or is she not pregnant? _Did you get yourself a barren wife, Kazekage-Sama?"_ Obvious delight was coming off her every pore, and Gaara noted she was very much not the women he had trained, just a callous, bitter harpy. Gaara was struggling to keep his temper, though it was dormant most the time nowadays under wraps.

"You did pick a barren wife. You should have picked me, _I could have given you a child,"_

Hinata chose that moment to come in accompanied by his sister. Gaara must have looked a picture Sand swirling angrily around him, reaching for Matsuri wanting to see her blood everywhere. Hinata wasn't much good at calming him down. She had heard Matsuri's last comment and lunged for the woman before Temari could stop her, there was a sickening crunch of bones being crushed under her fist as she flattened Matsuri's nose into face. Temari was desperately trying to hold Hinata back, unsuccessful in her attempts as she couldn't touch her. Hinata was a blur as she pushed Matsuri up against a wall, her arm over her windpipe.

"Say it again," She hissed in a voice Gaara could barely recognize as his wife. Hands reaching into her hip bag for a kunai to press at Matsuri's neck. She loosened her grip on Matsuri's windpipe just enough for her to breathe.

Despite the fact Matsuri was gasping trying to fight Hinata off. Her hate for Hinata was stronger than her will to live evidently because she managed to gasp out

" _You are barren, and he will leave you eventually, he needs an heir,"_ As she fought still trying to find a weak spot. With that Gaara snapped out of his shocked haze, and using his sand to pull his wife off Matsuri. Hinata thrashing out regardless desperate to spill Matsuri's blood. He could tell she didn't know what she was doing, the world had become completely cut off from her in her hatred as she thrashed in his arms, he could feel the kunai she was carrying nicking his skin before his sand disarmed her. She was screaming throat raw at Matsuri, not actual words just screaming. Temari had Matsuri completely disarmed, and was escorting her out of the room as a medic nin came in with a needle to knock Hinata out. As the hysteria stopped he pulled his wife into his arms properly.

Calling over his shoulder to Temari he said "Put Matsuri in a dungeon for now I think we will send her back to Konoha,"

* * *

Temari was all to happy to be delivering Matsuri to a dungeon, as the door locked behind her, she began to mentally pen a letter to Konoha explaining to Naruto that he would need to take Matsuri as far from Hinata as possible. While still keeping her under some sort of surveillance her mind was evidently not what it had been. She had never seen anything like her sister in law that morning. Raw fury was something her mind normally associated with the old pre-Naruto Gaara. But seeing a grown woman, one who was normally so passive, lash out like that, was something else, she had no doubt that if Gaara hadn't intervened Matsuri would be in the morgue rather than the dungeon. Leaving instructions that no one was to approach Matsuri she walked away whistling as Shikamaru fell into step with her.

"So Hinata is barren huh?" He asked his voice for her alone, Temari yanked his arm pulling him into a nearby closet.

"Don't worry Temari, I was coming in for a meeting when I heard that this morning, I made sure no one else came close enough to hear it. Who did you think got the medic nin? I wasn't sure if it was Gaara or Hinata who punched her though"

"I just figured they were waiting, It was Hinata who flattened her nose" Temari commented, hands muffling her voice as she hid her face behind them. "But this is so much worse. Gaara is going to have to fight the council to keep her at his rate, he can't just keep ignoring them," Shikamaru pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and put it between his lips not lighting it but just thinking. Temari ripped it out and crushed it beneath her foot. He knew how she felt about that.

"There is another way for him to get an heir," He said as though he didn't care one or another. Temari was instantly sus pious he only used that voice when he was plotting.

"How?" She asked cautious.

"You or Kankuro provide one for him," Temari swayed, and Shikamaru put his hands out to brace her. She knew where this was going, it _always came back to this._ But she wasn't ready she didn't know if she could give up Suna for him.

"I've asked you before Temari, but you didn't want to move to Konoha in light of the circumstances I'm sure Naruto would let move here if you agreed to marry me?"

* * *

Hinata woke up tucked in her husbands' arms, unable to recall why she was here. As her memory came back through the fog that was her mind, she stiffened instantly recalling Matsuri's words ' _You are barren, and he will leave you eventually, he needs an heir,'._ As though Gaara knew what she was thinking he turned her gently on to her back so her could meet her eyes teal to lavender.

"I am not leaving you. The only thing that will ever take me from you, is death it's self. Hopefully that won't be until we are old and you are thoroughly sick of me anyway," Hinata shook her head wordlessly, trying to find the words to tell him what was going through her head. She clung onto his shirt, desperate to touch him.

"Gaara, you can't promise that, and you know it. You have the village to think of," He shook his head violently like he was trying to dislodge water from his ears.

" _Listen to me,_ I have two siblings surely one of them can provide an heir for the Mantle. _I need you, I don't need an heir, I need you for every moment of my life, every day, every month, every year, you and me here,"_ He leaned down to kiss her gently, feeling the wetness of her cheeks and knowing that this wouldn't be the last time he discussed it.

"Is Matsuri alright?" She asked a while later, not meeting his eyes. She felt rather guilty about how she had reacted she was an elite jounin and the wife of the Kazekage to boot surely she should have a better grip on her emotions than this. He tensed arms still wrapped around her,

"She is, in a dungeon and she will be going back to Konoha far away from us. I will let Naruto deal with her,"

"I mean, she is alive? Unhurt?" Hinata asked, she had never hit anyone in anger before and certainly never outside of a mission. Neji had once told her that she was rather too passive and sweet to be a ninja. In a way, he had been right but when she was within her capacity as a ninja she had a job to do and it got done without fail as often as she could.

"Her nose will never look the same, the last I saw of it you had flattened it completely. I imagine Sakura will not be able to fix it. Bone dust, I hear is rather difficult to bring back together," Matsuri's words echoed back through her mind and suddenly she felt like she was about to throw up. Excusing herself and dashing to their bathroom. She did so while Matsuri's last words echoing through her mind again and again. _You are barren, and he will leave you eventually, he needs an heir, You are barren, and he will leave you eventually, he needs an heir, You are barren, and he will leave you eventually, he needs an heir._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

* * *

Matsuri left the next day. No one from the Kazekage's family saw her off, she went again in a box, with an ANBU guard. A note went ahead the night before with another ANBU operative so that Naruto would understand why she couldn't stay in Suna. But of course, something went wrong, half way between Suna and Konoha, Matsuri disappeared. Naruto gave her an extra two days in case of an ambush or sandstorm before he contacted Gaara back in Suna. Both villages sent teams to try and find the missing team. Half way between the villages they found the remains of eleven ANBU guards and a very broken box.

No Matsuri, and no sign as to why or who had taken her.

The effects of this were instant. Gaara assigned new guards to himself, Hinata, Temari and Kankuro. He knew that because of the altercation between Hinata and Matsuri she would be number one on Matsuri's hit list. He also put Temari at the head of the team to deal with Konoha, Shikamaru having been summoned home as well. He had given Temari his blessing explaining that Shikamaru had asked him if he could marry Temari five years ago. The contract between Konoha and Suna had been drawn up then, the details just needed to be settled on. His sister was unimpressed with this fact, especially when he took the time to tease her a bit about her stubbornness. But finally he took a moment to be serious with her

"Temari, in light of Hinata's and I difficulties, you…understand?" Poor Gaara was struggling to voice it but lucky for him Temari knew what he meant with out much elaboration. She nodded, clearing her throat not meeting his eyes

"It was why I finally said yes," and with that she saluted him, bowed and left for Konoha to find Matsuri.

* * *

A few months later Gaara found himself exhausted. None of their operatives had managed to Find Matsuri and Temari was still searching. He sighed loudly, then dropped his head in his hands, and sat for a moment wondering how it had come to this. Then He pulled himself up, and wondered aloud where his wife was. It was lunch time and he hadn't seen her today. She was normally here nagging him to take a break, have lunch and the occasional quickie on his desk. Though now days he made sure to take the papers off. He had once lost a report on Suna's outer walls to Hinata's juices. He rang the bell under his desk and Hiro popped his head in.

"Has Lady Hinata been in today?"

"Let me check with house keeping," Hiro replied disappearing momentarily. Gaara got up and began to pace, unease prickling him. Hiro re-appeared with the housekeeper next to him.

"lady Hinata hasn't been in at all today and her guards report she hasn't left the residence." Gaara didn't even say thank you, instead disappearing in a cloud of sand, and re appearing in their residence terrified. She wouldn't have. Surely, his unease grew as he saw rubbish and clothes lying around where Hinata would have normally cleaned them up. House keeping only came in every three days knowing Hinata was a clean freak. Rin always took their laundry. He followed the rubbish into their bathroom calling for his wife. She was sitting on the rim of the bathtub that they barely used. Water shortages were an issue so they much preferred the shower. She looked up as he came in, and Gaara was surprised to note how blissfully and completely happy she seemed.

Cautiously avoiding the rubbish he weaved his way to sit next to her on the tub. She had a weird stick in her hand, a large bottle of water sitting in the tub with a large amount missing.

"Hinata?" Wordlessly she handed him the stick she was holding, it had two pink lines on it. "What is this?"

"That is a pregnancy test," She answered looking as though her happiness was about to spill over, Gaara was still not comprehending this. A pregnancy test? It had been four and a half years they'd never done a pregnancy test.

"It's positive Gaara,"

He starred at the pink lines again, then at his wife, then back at the lines, then at Hinata again not quite sure he could believe his eyes. She took pity on him with a laugh,

"Gaara, do you want to be Daddy or Papa?"

He then did something so out of character that his guards burst in to see what was going on. He whooped, and kissed her soundly as she laughed.

* * *

Hinata was blooming with pregnancy, the healers had advised to avoid her normal work out and instead focus on walks, it was good for her and for baby. So every morning she would drag Gaara out of bed, and they would go to the outer walk and walk around it as the sun rose. She had taken to eating extremely healthy cutting out any sugar and her coffee. The healers had warned them that it was extremely likely that she wouldn't show until quite late, her stomach muscles strong enough to keep a bump from showing. But sometimes when they lay in bed, Gaara liked to imagine how he thought she would look with a big belly stretched in front of her. He had taken to sleeping with a hand resting on her belly, which was something he knew his wife found adorable.

For a while he forgot about Matsuri. But of course, it wasn't to last because it never did. One morning he had an early morning meeting with the council so Hinata had decided to take her walk by herself, well as by yourself as you can get with four ANBU guards nearby. She was walking along the wall admiring the village she had come to love, already sweating in the early mornings heat. When she saw Matsuri in the desert. The last thing she heard Matsuri say echoed through her mind again "You are barren, and he needs an heir," The girl beckons, and Hinata had already lost control of her body. She could see her guards dying around her. She couldn't access her charka to fight. Not without risking the baby. Kurenai had become a civilan when she had been pregnant so she supposed that went double for the Kazekages wife. She watched forces invade Suna, as she fet herself pulled towards Matsuri.

Naturally. Gaara was fighting as this went on. He was confident in his wifes gaurds so it never occurred to him that the invasion would effect her too heavily. Still he couldn't help but worry, being far more ruthless than he would have normally been he dispatched the attackers attacking him and his council. He could see they already had heavy losses so he had to weigh up village or wife. It had to be village, she would never forgive him if he out her above the village. He would never forgive himself for that matter. So he began to fight his way out, determined to find out who was behind this, all the ninja seemed rather slow, easily defeated almost as though they were…re animated. Matsuri.

He took a look around trying to see if he could find her, but he couldn't the forces were crumbling under his ninja now so he fought his way back to the residences. Knowing that's where his wife would have gone, they had discussed this possibility weeks ago when she found herself pregnant. He ripped it apart, nothing. His own guards occupied, they knew their Kazekage well enough to know that they were just there to keep Lady Hinata happy, he tore off for the wall, fighting any ninja that wasn't from Suna. Surprisingly there was hardly any left. That left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had the niggling feeling attacking Suna hadn't been the main aim of this little attack. Their force simply wasn't strong enough to make what they were doing worth the collateral damage.

It hit him like a lightning bolt, potting Kankuro in the crowd he pushed his way through.

"Hinata was the target, have you seen her?" Kankuro looked stricken, he shook his head, no he hadn't seen her. Knowing his sister in laws habits as well as Gaara did he took off for the wall. Gaara went to the opposite side of the walls. Shouting instructions to the jounin following him about finding all the healers and other important village oriented things he searched for his wife. She was strong enough to take any invaders surely.

He saw the flash of gold on the ground, it was his wedding ring, the one Hinata had worn every day for years. She would have never voluntarily taken it off, and then he saw a flash of silver ahead. He Slipped her ring on his pinky, the only finger where it would fit. Then took after the the flash, it was Matsuri's forehead protector, a large crack down the middle.

Kankuro had come up behind him, he clapped a hand on Gaara's shoulder.

"At least I know whose name to put on the gravestone," He commented, "Matsuri, you should have let Hinata kill her,"


	12. Chapter 12

I want you all to know I am so sorry for this chapter. Massive Trigger Warnings for all kinds of nasty things. Loyal readers, hang in there I promise it will get better.

* * *

Chapter Twelve.

The sheets smelled like her, while he had taken to not sleeping but he lay awake in their bed. With his eyes closed he could pretend she was next to him just not touching. He could use the time to think of how he could get her back. The council had refused his request to follow. To look for his wife. Instead insisting he stayed here _useless_ as others searched for _his_ wife. Occasionally he'd drift off and for a wee bleary moments forget that there was no one in the bed but him. The council had suggested he give it up. It had been six months after all. But he had refused these requests, not accepting that his wife had clear vanished off the face of the known earth. _Just like Matsuri had._ Just like everyone did. Temari had left gotten married and disappeared off to Konoha with her husband. Kankuro was off searching for Hinata. It was just him, alone in the hat.

Without his wife. Without his child. The child who should be a few months old by now.

Did the child survive the attack? Did Hinata? Was he truly as alone as he felt. Sometimes he forgot his duty to his people to his village and found himself wishing he could join Hinata wherever she was, the ghost of her haunting him constantly. Taunting him with a life where he had been so happy. He paced around his office restless for his wife, holding her ring in his hands, her forehead protector in the pocket closet to his heart. Wondering if she knew he was thinking of her, that he hadn't stopped searching despite the councils protests. He explained time and time again that he didn't want anyone but his wife. The life that they had built together. The council still pressed the issue, grumpy he wasted Suna's resources on sending teams out to find her. But thankfully the merchants and the other guilds had backed him, Hinata having formed strong bonds with them.

* * *

The days blended into months of that she was aware. Stuck in a small space unable to access her Charka, sometimes she could hear Matsuri screaming. Sometimes she could hear herself screaming. They screamed in unison sometimes for the same person Gaara. She understood now. Why Matsuri had been odd, because she wasn't Matsuri not really, a shell with some memories trying to protect herself from the horrors, associating Gaara with safety and hope. Hinata being a threat, a horrible terrible threat that would lock her in a box again. She measured the days by the rations she received, three a day, by her vague count it had only been two months, surely she should be able to feel her baby by now. But she had the horrible idea that her baby wasn't there anymore and she didn't know where it had gone. Sometimes it made her weep other times she screamed, most of all she wanted out. She hadn't needed rescuing for years, she hadn't been kidnapped since she was a pre schooler. She was an elite jounin. She had been ANBU how had this happened.

Sometimes she lost hope, hope that her husband would come for her, she had left her ring behind so he would know, the only thing she could manage as a sign that she was alive and okay.  
Hinata had no idea where she was except that box wasn't even big enough for her to walk in, she could stand or sit. In her own mess day in, day out. Once every seven meals they would knock her out, and she would come to clean in a new box. Matsuri and her would scream until their voices disappeared in the hope that someone would hear. Then one day the rations stopped coming. Hinata tentively felt the seals weakening. Somewhere in the recess of her mind she remembered Gaara telling her Konoha had a team searching for Matsuri's kidnapper. It would seem they had found them. Hinata was fairly sure she would die if she couldn't mould her charka enough to escape. Finally after three days of this, she managed to make a hole in the box, the light was blinding. For several days she couldn't bear to open her eyes at all, she felt her way to Matsuri's box and knocked a hole in it. Desperately searching for food the two could only find half a ration bar, which was surprisingly enough to fill them.  
After a week Hinata found she manage to open her eyes without screaming again. Matsuri was skeletal, and Hinata saw she was too, she tried to find a charka signature that was her baby. Nothing. Baby was gone. She had known she suspected somewhere in the recess of her mind she had known, her baby couldn't survive that. Couldn't survive what had happened to her when she wasn't locked in the box.  
How were they going to get home to Suna? Making up her mind, She and Matsuri, slowly taking their time, they ransacked the lab and found supplies, trying to build up their strength it took three weeks to reach the end of the tunnels, to the surface. Helping each other in a way Hinata hadn't thought Matsuri was capable of, feeling a wee bit guilty about her nose now she understood more. Her nose never would be the same. As she reached the surface, her heart dropped they were only three days from home, in peak condition, maybe she could get word to Gaara some how, maybe someone would find her find them.

* * *

It had been a year, Gaara knew now his wife had to be dead. There would no wife no baby again. Temari had written to say he would have his heir by the end of the year. He dully told the council happy to have them off his back. He sent one last team out to find Hinata. Kankuro back on the mission desk explained he selected the current ambassador he had asked for it. An Inuzuka who had searched for Hinata tirelessly, having been on her genin team.

He wasn't expecting a miracle. It would take more than a miracle to bring his wife back to him.

Alarm bells rang two days after the team had left. Gaara was at the front gate within seconds.

"What is it?" He barked, at Hiro, the gate guard. He could already see a team heading out but to what he couldn't see. Hiro wordlessly handed him the eye glass. There in the distance was two walking skeletons, supported by a three man cell, as one collapsed her saw a matted mess of blue hair, he was running not realizing he had dropped the eyes glasses. _It couldn't be!_

 _It was._ Hinata and Matsuri, he went to hurt Matsuri, when Hinata used what she had left to throw herself in front of Matsuri, so all he could do was catch her. Hinata said one word.

"Don't,"

Then she fell into his arms, lighter than a bay, looking like leather over bones, clumps of her hair only held together on her head because they were so mattered, now that he bothered to look he could see Matsuri was just as bad.

"Hospital now," He said, not bothering to ask where they had found them, they could brief him later.

* * *

Sakura arrived three days later. Hinata and Matsuri having been kept in an induced coma for that time. Gaara had moved a desk into Hinata's room not letting his wife out of his sight again. With Sakura came, Neji, and Temari. All desperate for news. When they received it the new was horrifying.

There was evidence someone had forcibly removed their child from Hinata. She had been starved over a very long period with only just enough ratios to survive. There were signs her body had had several infections of the blood someone had healed. Trauma everywhere. Matsuri was the same at their initial exam when she had come back originally she was worse this time. Sakura doubted Matsuri's body had the strength to fight it. The fact she had made it back here was a miracle. She had several blood infections unlike Hinata's no one had bothered to treat hers. Evidence of genital mutilation on Matsuri, Gaara had felt physically ill at that not knowing how to cope with it all. Sakura recommended letting Hinata wake up and that she see a phycologist daily for a long time. She also warned him the stress of this may never heal. She would never be the same person she went into it as. They had Hinata hooked up to an IV feeding nutrients into her body, Sakura had also warned it would take months maybe years of physically therapy to get her anywhere near the shape she had been. There was also the possibility she would never have another child. Thankfully the damage didn't look severe enough to cause that and Sakura mentioned she had cleaned up the lining that had been growing outside of the uterus. That would apparently help when Hinata was strong enough.

Day five after the Inuzuka cell had found Hinata Matsuri died, injuries too severe to be saved. Gaara had mourned his students years ago, could find himself only able to concentrate on his wife, Kankuro taking the reins as Sakura slowly edged Hinata out of her induced coma.

She woke up screaming, screaming for him. He launched at her ignoring Sakura's hiss to not do that exact thing. She could see him but he could tell that she didn't believe it was him until he reached out to touch her face.

Tears rolled down his. It was his wife, she was home, broken but home.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Hinata's return to health took a long time. At first, she had have incredibly small amounts of food, a gruel really, until her stomach could handle more. Sakura explained that feeding her too much could kill her so they had to be extremely careful. They also drip fed her hydration packs to help her muscles, those that she had left that is. They had to shave her head, her hair too mattered to be detangled and huge clumps had fallen out anyway. He had taken a strand home, and put in in the draw where he now kept her head protectors. Sakura and Ino had both agreed the damage was too much, Hinata would never work as a ninja again. Ino had reported two days after Hinata had woken up to tell him what had happened. It seemed to Hinata as though she had only been gone months, not a year. She had been counting days based on three meals a day, when in fact she had only been getting a meal a day. Gaara had left a crack in his desk that would have made Tsundae envious at that statement. She had been made to sit in her own mess for weeks at a time, her baby had been taken out quite early on Sakura added, her periods ceasing a few months into captivity.

Gaara had only managed a month off work, so after that he came in the evenings. Four months in Sakura had to return to Konoha, along with Ino both women were pregnant and wanted to be home for the births. Sakura had hand picked and trained her replacement to care for Hinata who was learning to use her muscles again, still not allowed home from the hospital.

Naruto had written to say that contrary to Hinata's guess that they had killed the ninja 6tthat had captured them it seemed he had abandoned the hide out and the seals had weaken on their own. They sent out a joint mission to search the hide out. Gaara had been glad that he was alone when he read the reports and looked at the photos. He had to throw up several times. It was a miracle either woman had made it out of there. Thankfully Hinata hadn't had the experiments done on her that Matsuri had, but he would love to know why she hadn't. It felt all off to him. The byagukan it's self was worth a fortune.

It clicked one night, that they may have got a byakagun, Hinata have been five months pregnant when she had been attacked, the same gestation he had been when his mother had him. What if whoever it was had their baby. Sakura hadn't said anything about the baby being alive or dead when the baby had been born. Gaara didn't know much about his wife's eyes but he suspected that they could be used either way. Hurriedly he wrote a report of his theory to Naruto and sent an ANBU agent to him post haste. For now he kept his latest theory to himself. He strongly suspected it would cause a huge setback in his wife's recovery if he were to share.

One evening he left his desk early at five rather than the eight or nine he would typically pull. Walking to the hospital he stopped to pick up a dress he had ordered for his wife. Having given her measurements to her horrified friends at the dressmaker guild.

Slowly carefully he and a nurse helped her dress. She was ready to come home, a fuzz for dark hair on her head. She was still painfully skinny to look at but she no longer resembled leather on bones. She was beginning to get her curves back and almost eat a full meal again. Carefully taking each step Hinata held on to his hand, she had spoken to him properly since her return the phycologist told him that it was a coping mechanism and that she would talk when she was ready.

People lined the streets as they walked home, Hinata weakly tried to smile at them, Gaara keeping his arm protective wrapped around her. Gaara smiled at his people but kept his main focus on Hinata, knowing that was the most she had walked outside of physical therapy for a long while. He had hired a nurse to help if she needed it, although the doctor said Hinata was ready to be independent to a degree at least, she would still need help after a busy day. Gaara hoped he would be that help, the nurse was an expensive just in case. He swept her up in his arms rather than let her do the stairs of the compound, he was rewarded with a squeak from his too light wife. Feeling rather proud he grinned down at her, and found to his intense happiness that she was smiling back up at him. He lay her down on their sofa, and watched as she shuffled into a sitting position. He sat in the armchair next to her, after dropping her bag into the bedroom where Rin was waiting to unpack it.

"My memory," To his intense shock that was Hinata, he looked at her, she was looking at her hands, not at him, "Isn't fantastic, Sakura said my body was so starved that parts of my brain won't work as they used too. But I remember hating you, but not properly, hating what you would do. I remember loving you too, memories that make me blush," True to her words she blushed, "But they're all like a puzzle, one that is missing pieces. I remember some of the good stuff, and the bad stuff. I can remember screaming at you about Matsuri, I wouldn't be here if not for Matsuri, she kept me alive while I was _away_."

"She took you away?" He growled, Hinata promptly shook her head.

"No, she didn't he could activate control of her, he did what he did to Matsuri because she fought his control. He wanted my eyes. But I fought him and he didn't like that," In some ways that made sense to Gaara, but on the other hand he felt his stomach drop to his kneeshis suspicions confirmed. He would bet his village that the man had his baby, what was left of the baby, for the babies eyes. Shaking she reached a hand out to him, he leaned forward and took it, gentling palcing a kiss on the back of it.

"I missed you, I understand why you didn't come. The phycologist she explained that you searched, she said you went a bit mad actually. That you couldn't find me and the council wanted you.." She stumbled a bit "They wanted you to marry someone else, but you screamed them down. I just wanted you to know Matsuri and I never lost hope that you were coming.," Gaara could feel his ears heating up, embarrassed he shrugged.

"You are my wife I wasn't going to give up," He muttered, as she pulled the hand holding his towards her, so he knelt in front of her, and rested his head in her lap. Exhausted, utterly drained but completely happy to be here with his wife. In their living room.

"I love you," He said tiredly, she ran her fingers, he could feel them shaking through his hair, she was quiet for a long time

"I love you too,. I am sorry I didn't talk before, I was patching my memory together and didn't want to say…anything I would regret," He nodded, unwilling to move. Soaking every moment he could in her presence, memorizing the feeling of her hands in his hair, promising himself that he would never take it for granted again.


	14. Chapter 14

Epilogue

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A boy stumbled onto the path gasping for breath as someone, the man on his left, struck out with a long wooden tool. He tried to duck and missed, taking the wooden tool to his head. Dizziness hit him instantly and he felt his body crumble as he passed out on the road.

Sasuke was the one who found the boy and brought him back to Konoha, the boy remained unconscious the entire time. However, it was the hair that made him pick the beaten boy up.

It was a dark blood red, and the boy had no eyes.

Gaara had never told Hinata that he suspected their child had survived. He was glad he hadn't when at forty two she found herself pregnant for only the second time ever. He still held out hope that the boy was out their somewhere but it had been ten years since his wifes first pregnancy. He doubted that had he survived being born early that he was still alive.

Then he got a bird from Konoha.

 _Found him._

 _-N_

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Alright guys, there is a sequel to this incoming. Sorry this took so long. I know this may feel like a cop out but I found that I was procrastinating because I felt that it was done, and that our missing heir needed his own story. Hinata, Gaara, missing boy, and baby will feature. I really enjoyed reading your reviews and I am sorry it did take so long!


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